New episodes every other Saturday. Subscribe wherever you listen.
Subscribe on YouTubeAnd welcome back.
We're back to a fake Browns podcast after a long break,
which I don't even know how long the break was,
but it felt decent enough to where this feels fresh.
Yeah, well, I don't know, listeners won't know.
That's true, because we released these at random intervals.
Yeah, whether it be five weeks or a single week,
it doesn't fucking matter.
So let's do some topics.
Let's just get right into it for the people.
They don't wanna hear what's been going on.
It's been a mess.
We're not interesting.
No, we're, we're, these are fake problems.
They're not real problems.
So let's just get it started off.
Having children skip grades and check,
skip grades in Korea is considered child abuse.
At first glance, I'm like, you know,
immediately like yes, that makes sense.
Yeah, I think so, because in here,
when we skip grades, the kid is applauded
and you're like, yeah, good job Jimmy.
But then the stress you put on a child
of being like expectations.
Yeah, I feel like there's certain levels of developmental stuff
that the kid's supposed to be slide in.
Yeah, I don't know.
It feels weird.
Isn't it supposed to be if they're like further along
than everyone else?
And you have to feel.
Right, if they're excelling in academics,
but then like say you're good at math
or say you're good at like math science writing,
but you're still personality wise, you're still an eight year old,
and they just slot you in with a bunch of notes.
True.
It's a one dimensional.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so then you like have this weird contrast of you're still young
so then all these older kids are like, fuck you.
Yeah, I remember we had someone come up
to the fourth grade or something.
Yeah, you're like a nerd.
Toast in her.
Yeah, she had no chance.
Hey, man, at least you're not prejudice.
Because you're like, if whoever it is, they bring up
like fucking roast because you said her, right?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Oh, it's like where you go to this.
Yeah, no, she, yeah.
Skin color, gender, doesn't matter.
Don't hold back.
If you come back and you're a nerd, do I remember there were lots
of kids being like, this isn't third grade anymore.
Like everyone flexed on her like that.
Like as such a young age, that human behavior stays the same
at all ages.
So like trust me, you won't understand.
Yeah.
Like we're elite even in third grade.
That's like, she must have got moved up like halfway or something
through the year.
Yeah, which is, which is even worse.
Yeah, that's great.
Where it's like, oh, here's all my friends and now it's like,
you're so smart, you need to move up right now.
Yeah.
Who's, I mean, there's, I wonder how much ego
of the parents are involved in that.
We're like, they could just keep the, but being like,
oh my kid's so smart, he has to go up.
They don't even think about the kid in the situation they're in.
Yeah.
How many kids are like, I want to move up a grade.
I doubt there's any.
You have all your friends.
Yeah.
What kid is going, yeah, I want to do this.
Yeah.
It screws you over for sports.
Yeah.
And college, you're like never 21, which is rough kind of,
and never 21.
What do you mean?
Because you're younger than everyone.
Oh, I see.
So you finished college before you 21.
I guess maybe your senior year, you'd be,
I see what you're saying.
I, I, I missed the point entirely.
Um, that, yeah.
You know, I, I had a friend whose parents, all their kids,
four kids, held them all back.
So they would dominate in sports.
And they did.
I, I appreciate it.
That's way better.
So did they dominate in sports?
They were all really good athletes.
Yeah.
I think they were good anyway, but like, sure,
but then you, you, you even stack it higher in their favor.
Yeah.
And it's like now they're crushed.
Then you're good younger, which is a huge difference in high school.
So you're going to start on varsity earlier, get better looks.
They, they all played college sports.
Oh, shit.
That's pretty, I mean, that's pretty smart.
Like, yeah, you're on top of the world if you can help back.
And like, you're kind of just dominating everything at that point,
because your, your brain's older too.
And so I developed, you can literally just dance around these kids physically
and mentally.
Yes.
Dude, when I have a kid, I'm going to keep them in kindergarten for like seven years.
I remember being like, it's such BS that he held on his kids back.
Cause they dominated everything.
Sure, right.
You're, it's like, it's a little like James.
Playing true.
Yeah.
I mean, what are you going to do?
And there's, I mean, there, obviously there's got to be a cut off.
They couldn't keep the, it's probably one.
I don't know how they got away with that.
I mean, I'm like, everyone knew they did it for sports.
It's interesting.
Was it just a grade?
Just one grade.
That's probably, there's probably, yeah, I don't know.
Cause there's a, it's a year's worth of development.
When you're young, that's a lot.
That's huge.
Yeah.
So, I don't know, but it's like, that's probably the cut off.
You probably can go to, they'd probably be like, no,
unless you're really dumb.
They take like a gap year after grade school or something.
Just take the semester off.
Yeah.
Focus on sports.
That's fucking crazy.
I didn't realize that ever happened the other way.
See, we're talking about these things because you,
you have an opposite perspective.
I have so much life experience.
Dude, when Korean child abuse comes up, like, I have a story for that.
Oh, all right.
Back to that.
I mean, the, the Korean thing.
What?
They just, they don't let it happen because of the reasons I'm talking about.
So, some of them not being developmentally there, that you're measuring them
by a different, a metric that's disregarding all of them.
If that may, like, personal, so Korea is basically looking at other
countries and being like, that's child abuse.
Correct.
Because we do it a lot.
Cause no one in Korea can do it.
Right.
Hence why you can see like, how many stories when you're growing up,
you've seen like 15 year old just got accepted to Harvard.
Like that.
They're like, what the fuck is going on here?
What is he going to just party with college?
Yeah, he's doing this.
It's going to be like a child actor where they're just like used by some system
for like math or science or celebrity shit.
Like it's, it's all the same engine.
We're like, let's see how much we can get out of this kid because he's super smart.
And he just plump it full of that.
I mean, that's a flex in a half.
Yeah.
Harvard at 15.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, you're big brain at that point.
It's pretty.
You're going to take over the world.
But you also will have no soul.
Yeah.
You probably just get so, you probably have like the professors like you,
everyone else fucking hates you.
No, no 20 year olds like, yes, hang out with this 15 year old.
Yeah, you can't hang out with those kids.
That's what I'm saying.
And if you're that young, I don't think you can live on campus.
So you're literally just going home after college.
So just no friends your age, no friends their age, no friends anywhere.
That sounds like the worst life.
And all you do is it's math or science.
Fuck you know, it's you're probably overhyped too.
Like where do you go after that?
Do you just go to grad school when you're?
Oh, yeah, those kids in high school.
There they invent something or go into research.
I'm just saying there's and don't live your life.
You know, I'm not one of those.
But I feel like there's a level of parenting that should apply.
She's like, I should let my kid become a well-rounded person.
Not sacrifice everything for this.
Like it's the same.
Listen, I'm going to spit a lot of opinions out here that make go.
That's why we do that.
Sure.
It's the same thing I feel like with Olympic athletes where they're like,
I'm going to train my kid at the age of two.
And that's all they're going to do.
Like they'll go to school, but any hour outside of school is done training for that sport.
Yeah.
How was that fair to which child?
Yeah, we did.
And then they're spit out of the system.
And then they're 23 and they're no use for anyone.
Yeah.
And everyone's like, oh, you won that one.
Yeah. And then they go work it subway.
Like it's like, dude, it's fucking crazy.
I don't know how we got all the way here, but it just seems like the same.
It seems like bad parenting.
And I always see a super young kid doing something at an adult level and don't get me wrong.
If they're doing something smart and they truly want to lose all their friends and go to these heights and do it.
It just doesn't seem like a kid thing.
That's a young age.
Like everyone says, if you want to be great at something, you got to make sacrifices.
Sure.
Super young age to like make that decision.
Yeah, I even understand that concept.
Right.
I don't know, man.
That's my opinion on it.
At the same vein, have had the thought I wish my dad just trained me in ping pong for
age two when I'd be like the best ping pong player.
It's a very specific sport.
Not one that gives you any money.
You're going to pick any other sport.
I'm so cool.
I'd be so good at ping pong.
Unreel.
I mean, yeah, but you would also probably like hate your fucking dad.
Yeah, man.
Because you know how much of that training would probably be like, Hey, you can't go play with your friends.
Yeah.
There'd be a lot of that probably.
I highly doubt most will be super weird.
Your friends like, where are you going when you call training?
Why is it so important going big?
Yeah.
I mean, think I think about Tiger Woods and his whole thing.
You know, it was dad training for.
How you know how many moments they're probably where we's like, I want to go play with my friends and his dad's like,
no, can't do that.
There was probably so grand.
There's probably sometimes where he wanted to do the golf thing for sure, but probably a hell of a lot of times
where he's wanted to go play.
And it's that said, no, can't.
It's wild though.
Yeah.
And apparently just do that.
Yeah.
It's not, it's not technically child abuse.
You think you think Tiger.
I mean, he's Tiger Woods.
He's the greatest.
Sure.
You think he thinks his dad for that and retrospect probably now like, you know, then so then can you justify it?
I don't think so because there's a lot of versions of that of a dad going, my son's going to be a football player and
trains his kid into the ground and never goes pro.
Right.
There's a lot of him.
Tiger was there's a thousand exactly.
So it's like, you're just banking on this gamble that I'm going to somehow make this kid into a pro
athlete at sacrificing all of what it is to be a kid's hell of a gamble.
So fuck that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a kid in my age group.
You went to a different school, but like instead of going to high school in our area,
yeah, went to Florida, the baseball academy.
Sure.
And he had promo videos of himself all over the place.
Can you tell his parents are just forcing this kid to try to be the best baseball?
Right.
Which kind of gave up his whole life.
Right.
It's not giving the kid a choice essentially.
Yeah.
Anyway, we can get off that topic.
I feel like it got dark as always does.
Oh, there was some torture tactic.
I don't know where I saw this from.
I had a torture.
Yeah.
It was pretty.
I've never heard of a lot of torture tactics.
Just of like horrendous things that people would do to build upon them.
Yeah.
And like, this is one of like, whoa, that's new, but it was something of.
All I have written down is horrendous things and then you have your eyes taken out.
So it's the last thing you saw.
And I'm pretty sure it's like they would take your, if you had a family and like,
slaughter your children and rape your wife and then literally take your eyes out and keep you alive.
That's the last image you have.
Yeah.
Which I do.
That's some next level.
You can't even cleanse the palette.
No, it's just that's the last image you've ever seen.
That's crazy.
How evil people can be.
Dude, we're really good at it.
Dude, we're so smart.
It's so insane.
How we're so innovative in every way if we have the time and effort.
Yeah.
Whether it be making an iPhone or doing that,
imagine it came up with that.
That must have been some arch nemesis.
He's like, I, this is how I'm going to get to.
I mean, you want to get to the psychology of why people do these things.
We, I mean, we as humans have long, long history of doing torture, killing in ways that we think are.
It's always the person command the crime sees the person they're doing to his nonhuman.
And then from there, they just see them as like an animal.
Hence why the Jews and the Holocaust or us to, well, the eyes thing though,
that's very like you're playing on a human emotion.
I feel like that's very human directed to know that that's the last thing they see and have that be what tortures them.
Yeah, but you still understand that there's, there's still like, that's a good way of putting it,
but there you still know that they are of the same species, but they're lesser to a point.
Like, oh, I think I might cut this because it sounds, it toes a very dicey line.
I think you were there when I was telling my, you know, yeah, fuck, I don't want to say his name,
but you know what I'm talking about.
When I went home, my brother was telling me the reasons because, you know, civil war, you know,
the southern rhetoric would be it's for states rights, right?
It's not for slavery when this, you know, in all actuality was for slavery as the state to write.
Like, it's not, that's the reason.
And, and then I didn't know this, but I was been told that most of people in the South didn't have slaves.
It was the richer people, like the 1% who had plantations and maybe like,
upper middle class people would have a slave to help out, but the high majority of people did not.
And then going further, the reason why would all those people fight for this state, right?
That the high majority of them don't have don't profit from they see the people at the top making tons of money
because they can own all these slaves and it was because those people who don't have them,
it worked similar like the caste system in India, where the only people below the people who didn't own slaves at the bottom were slaves.
And for slaves to no longer be slaves meant that those bottoms became somewhat equal.
And that was like their last shred from the bottom.
They want that is their dignity having someone under them because they have nothing.
And that's why the majority of the South one, yeah, fuck yeah, states, right?
It's fucking crazy, but it works so well.
What was the point of all this though?
Seeing people as less.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, but that, that, thanks.
You brought me back.
That seems to be the trend of all of it of like, it, it means something, your worth is because you're more than someone else.
And that they are less than you.
That was weird.
It is true.
Like everyone has pride in something that they can do better than other people.
Yeah, for sure.
For a healthy way.
Other than just, I mean, pride is considered the number one set.
Yeah, yeah.
When you get down to it.
Yeah.
But no, I see what you're saying.
That's the thing.
But feeling confident something is good for you.
Yeah.
Having some self worth of like, I can do a good job at this, sir.
You know, I feel good about myself.
And I feel like that needs to be in reference to other people in order to know you're good at something.
I don't know if I agree.
Because of the whole idea of your, the people who talk about happiness, typically say that you should never think about others.
And the reference comparing yourself will kill you.
But that's what we're to, I mean, reference to others.
But I'm saying that the reference, supposedly, the healthy way of doing is referencing to yourself.
So I'm better than the last version of whatever I was.
What you know, way easier said than done when you're competing in things and doing things.
And there's people everywhere like, there's no way to completely go.
Fuck that.
I'm just focused on me.
It's almost impossible sometimes.
Right.
Unless you're really, really working at it.
But I don't know.
There's just some people that lean heavier into the ones they are higher up above people.
They will do anything to stay there.
And that's what leads to atrocities of people being like, I can't, I'm not going back down there.
I can't or I can't go lower the more I'm at.
I couldn't take it because that's all they have though.
It all comes back to the, if everyone's needs were met, these things wouldn't happen.
But those people in those situations where they're like, I gotta stay above the untouchables or slaves.
That's all they have in their life because their life is so shitty.
If it wasn't shitty, none of that stuff would matter.
They'd be like, oh, but most people when they have the needs met want to bring those people up.
That's how it works.
And if you're totally content, you're not pushing other people down.
No, you typically want to bring people up.
That's how the, I mean, nothing to lose is it.
Dude, and half the time doing those things, whether people see or not benefits you in the long run.
Hence why the free marketing capitalism works so well is because
if I do good by you, you do good by me through trade.
That's just, it's a natural transaction of like, yeah, as opposed to me going, I mean,
I won't get into anymore.
But yeah, horrendous things.
I just thought it was a crazy torched thing of like, I'm gonna fuck you up so bad.
And then I'm gonna show you the most horrifying thing you've ever seen.
Just take your eyes out and keep your life.
So you now just remember that forever.
And grind with time, it probably fades, but man, for that first year.
So this is, I'm just trying to strain together this whole conversation.
Like why, why do you think that was invented that torture?
Oh, man, I mean, you have some rival group that you've been fighting with for a long time.
I mean, it just feels so personal.
That's why sure more so than I just don't want to be the bottom.
It feels like I want you to suffer so much.
Well, you can play into the, I mean, I'm gonna go with the Jews and the Holocaust again.
Where they're like saying that the Jews are the root of all the problems.
Yeah.
They're like, they've made you poor.
They, you know, it's been dented.
It's been dented.
But yeah, yeah.
It has no grounding in reality.
But it's like, those people see it as not only are they lesser, but which, you know,
we can get to the hypocrisy of that, but like they're lesser, but they have controlled everything.
You know, it did, none of it makes sense when you get to the zero, some of it all,
but it's in there.
It's been so brainwashed and people like that, that this thing that they're against is less
than you, but also this giant evil mastermind that's like duped you at every single chance.
Yeah.
Which they're the biggest contradicting thoughts ever.
If this thing's lesser than you, how could it have done this to you?
And then, then you could go and do it.
We're just trying to follow the Nazi brainwashing.
I mean, it's, you look at any.
How do you even get there?
Great moments of weakness.
World War One extreme huge loss for Germany, Germany's and shambles.
And then when people are extremely weak and have nothing, they go, but we're the Aryan race
and we have this hope and we are the true, like it's always when people are at their lowest,
the thing be taken advantage of at an extreme way.
And the mob mentality of it all.
Right.
Right.
When it gains momentum like that, when there's more people, it just snowballs and snowballs.
And typically, I mean, in history, people look at that stuff and go,
yeah, a bunch of wackos until it turns into something that's become giant.
Wow, it's got out of hand.
Causing a World War, which, yeah, madness.
So anyway, onto the next thing.
Oh, no, I'm not going to get into that.
This goes back to a conversation way a while ago about a two mile wide blob of seaweed heading
for cheese.
And then we were like, wait, that was one of the hardest things.
And then we're like, what is the width and the length?
I think, and then I, yeah, I want, is there an update with it?
Well, I went, yeah, I went and looked online what you would consider on a map, the width
of a, a country, an area, and it would be horizontal.
So when you're thinking, but like when we had this conversation, I believe I said the
width and you were like, yeah, the width would be the bottom line in the top line, thinking
from a geometry standpoint, not on a map.
But when people are talking about width of a country, it's from east to west, not north
to south.
You're trying to validate yourself there.
I was.
But we got into it.
That's fair.
Hell yeah, fuck you.
Take that one on that one.
Put the seaweed.
Is that here yet?
I don't know.
It should have been.
We talked about it last July.
It was like three months ago that supposedly a blob of seaweed two times the last three months
the width of the United States was gonna arrive.
It was kind of scared for like two terrifying.
And I forgot about it.
Well, it's probably happened by now.
It's gonna hit us in a big way.
It's just tsunami of seaweed.
Just reaches all the way to the Midwest.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't fucking know.
These stories, man, all this stuff happens when it calms.
I'm gonna be like, that's why it is fun.
By a map wise, not GM.
GMatically East West wide.
Oh, yeah.
I just remembered this story.
Not crazy story, but I think Axe Body Spray reminded me of it.
I saw some ad or someone talking about Axe Body Spray and you have these trips back
in middle school where they like take you to a camp.
That's gonna say middle school immediately.
It just brings me back.
Well, yeah, that's the time where it was booming.
Axe Body.
I mean, every boy's locker room, every boy Axe Body Spray.
We were just hoffing that.
We were hoffing.
Remember when that chocolate one came out?
Remember that?
Yeah.
Dude.
Wow.
Dude.
Never would have thought of that.
Dude.
Dude, I remember that one so much.
I'd be like, they got chocolate hot.
Like, this is the best.
It was so good.
And I was so convinced it was the best smell ever.
I mean, talking about good marketing.
I remember there was a red one that was just bread and butter.
It was so good.
I remember the green one a lot, which was like the main one.
And then chocolate came out and I was like, they're doing chocolate.
That was a reckless decision.
Just wanted to eat the canned.
But.
So in middle school, I think it was at the end of middle school, the either strip where they
sent us this play called Camp Duncan, which is like, you know, it's just a camp ground
with a bunch of cabins.
And it was like the year end trip where we all go.
And like, you know, the dads go with shaperones for the boys and the moms go for the girls.
And so like, you would stay in a cabin with a couple of dads and like 10 boys.
And during the day, we play like cash the flag and, you know, like a bunch of fun stuff.
It was a pretty good time.
Amazing game.
Yeah.
So, you know, it comes nighttime.
I think we only stayed at night.
Comes nighttime.
It's like, it's me and seven other boys in one room.
So we're just, and it's, you know, it's 10 p.m. and they're like, time to go to bed.
Like, no.
Like, there's no way.
So we are in a room just doing crazy shit.
Just like jumping on beds, like, saying swears because at that point, it's fun to just say the word fuck or so
or shit.
You're like, fuck yeah.
And still funny.
It's still hilarious.
But, and oh, my, this one kid, Joe, I won't say his last name, obviously, but had, it was the first era of those backpacks that had speakers in them.
Do you remember these?
And was like playing that loan the room.
It was so, we felt so bad as.
But, more importantly, acts had just like become a big thing to us.
And one of the kids had a full green spray can of one.
And this is what I'm not going to say his name, but this kid was asleep.
And he had been asleep for a while.
We were being loud.
So like, at this point, we have registered this kid's a deep sleeper.
He's out.
And so the kid who had the can, his, the kid's mouth is open, just sprays the can, like puts it in his mouth in the kid's sleeping.
I swear to God, 30 seconds of acts into this kid's mouth.
And thinking back at that, that could fucking kill you.
Dude, 30 seconds of that just, and into your only brief sleep breath.
Yeah.
That could just fuck you up, too.
Dude, it didn't wake up.
He was dead.
Dude, the kid stayed down and then at one point, soon after that happened, it was like hitting the peak craziness level after that happened.
Were you just losing your shit?
Oh my God.
Dude, the room was going wild after that.
And then so there's, dude, there's my dad at this cabin and I think two other dads.
One of the dads, he has a daughter.
So he doesn't have a boy.
His daughter's at the camp, but you know, it's, it's men stay with her not doing that shit on the daughter.
Okay.
That's dude.
Oh, was it crazier?
Well, no, no, no, no.
So he's just not used to young boys, I think.
This is, and this is my dad's theory, too, because so we're doing this crazy.
It starts to hit a pinnacle.
The door just like flies open to the room and then we all immediately just run to our beds like everyone out into the family room where the fuck it is into the opening, like a drill sergeant.
And the whole day this dad's been chill as hell, but it's, you know, it's probably two in the morning by now.
We've been screaming for like, I hear where he's coming from, put Diddy handle it correctly.
We'll find out.
So we all go into the living room, everyone.
He's just like screaming at us.
Remember my dad to see a friend's dad blow up?
That's a core memory, dude.
And there's other dads there.
And at one point our dads have to like scuffle him away because he's, dude, it was, we like broke a 40 year old man.
Like it was in, so yeah, a bunch of middle schoolers, they have that power.
I, but one night,
I look back and I'm like, okay, understand the frustration, but you're gonna, he lost his shit.
Man.
And also the experience of standing there being screamed at with my buddies who were real like laughing.
Because we just, not only the acts thing just happened, but this is crazy, man.
Like this guy is just screaming and escalating.
And the only thing that makes it funnier is you see the other dads like, this guy's fucking crazy.
You can see it in their eyes staring at this dad, eventually having to be like, hey,
come on, you gotta get out of here and stop this.
But it was just, so first time I've seen an adult break caused by us.
And then you kind of get a little like, I can do that.
Like we have the power, because up until that moment in my life, I'm what, 12-ish, like adults are the law.
They, they decide and then suddenly us having fun.
The middle schoolers were you learned that you can just, the tides kind of, they, they shift a little bit.
Just torturing teachers, those four teachers.
Yeah, dude, they, they got it pretty bad.
But I, that dad sticks out so much.
And also, again, I don't know how that kids a lot, actually, I don't know how that kids doing nowadays.
Who got the axonism out?
You could have just set them on a path.
And like, he could have been one of those 15-year-olds going to Harvard.
And he just became like a janitor.
Not to shame janitors, just saying it, you know, they probably all had
to explain their mouth when they were 15.
Every single janitor on this planet.
Yeah.
So anyway, yeah, that's all I got for that story.
Thought it was worth telling.
Thought it was pretty funny.
Um, next one I have is Stephen Hawking cucked you.
Uh, do you know Stephen Hawking's full story?
I mean, you know, paraphrasing a story roughly, yeah.
So, you know, he, he used to walk.
He used to walk.
God, what is ALS at like 22?
So he, yeah, you lived a lot of life.
And then, you know, famous astrophysicists had a lot of theories that are groundbreaking.
But when he was in deep ALS, in the chair had to like talk robot voice and all of
stuff, he had married his college sweetheart.
And, you know, there may be like, he's made like 40, no, or 50.
And he, he has a nurse who takes care of him.
He's still married to his wife.
And the nerd, he fucks the nurse.
Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking.
How?
I don't know.
But literally it causes the divorce with his wife.
What?
But think of the guy, the nurse was also married.
Oh my god.
Imagine being the husband.
And this is not, I should,
paraphrase this with, you can shame this guy.
No, no.
No.
I should paraphrase it with, this is not shaming disabled people, but it's to think.
If you're a full, if you're just a man who's been married to their wife for a while,
and Stephen Hawking comes around who cannot move,
which once again, I don't know how they had sex, but they did.
He got cocked by Stephen Hawking.
Literally.
Yeah.
He.
Apparently, I mean, I don't know.
I don't want to like speculate.
It's a weird, it's such a strange situation that in my mind, I didn't think it could ever happen,
which is probably silly of me and small of me.
Could he like just get hard and could move anything?
You could move it all, right?
Well, so ALS is muscular.
It's all your muscles.
Your pain is in the muscle.
Well, yeah.
So yeah.
So yeah, you can go hard.
Crazy, right?
Anyone can do it.
That, I mean, hot.
Here's the, here's the silver line.
If Stephen Hawking can cock someone's wife,
there's someone out there for you.
There is.
Yeah.
Truly.
I mean, women like the brain,
for sure, the psyche.
For sure, I would say a lot less so than,
physical, like, you know,
there's a much smaller pool of women
who are attracted to the severely disabled genius.
I would, I would imagine, as opposed to
the problem here.
Right.
As opposed to an average person,
this is not to say people are more or less,
I'm just saying statistically, that's probably true.
I mean, she was, she was like his nurse, right?
Correct.
So they were close.
Some sort of connection there.
Absolutely.
Obviously, it wasn't physical.
Well, it was.
No, I mean, but it's, it became physical.
But probably the enticemen,
if you're taking, she wasn't turned on by.
I would once again, I could be small minded for saying this,
but I don't know if she walked into the room
the first time she saw Stephen Hawking went,
my God.
I don't think it was that.
I probably think it was like, this man's genius
after so much time spent with him and be like,
your mind is so beautiful.
Wow.
Yeah, crazy, right?
He probably just said the right word.
I just want to know where that guy is who got cut.
Where is what is he doing?
What happened with Stephen Hawking and the woman
after that happened?
I think they stayed together for a bit.
Or even married her.
Stephen Hawking's wife died.
No, I mean, they got to ors.
Oh, they got to ors.
Yeah.
Okay.
So that may agenda that cause a devil.
Okay.
Yeah.
You remarry the nerve.
Yeah.
Eventually.
Yeah.
Pretty sweet.
Dang, he's ballin.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
There's hope out there for anyone.
Just being an astrophysicist who has groundbreaking theories.
If you really smart,
there's probably also people with that disease
that just aren't astrophysicists or smile on.
Yeah, probably the high majority of those people.
Yeah.
So that's tough.
Yeah.
I would agree with that for sure.
Yeah, it did.
Whenever you think you have life figured out
and then you see something like they like,
wow, I just don't I don't know anything.
You know, we're like, I could have never called that.
If you gave me a betting situation,
the chance of me calling that correct me is.
I would never guess ever.
That's right.
It's the humbling experiences, man, where you go,
well, I gotta go, I don't know everything.
But it just sounds silly.
But you get to a point where like,
if you like life is kind of predictable,
ish, where you're like, no, okay, this is gonna happen.
This is gonna happen.
This person's gonna like this person.
This is, you know,
shit's gonna come out of my ass every day.
That kind of stuff for sure.
Not me.
Not really.
That's good pun though, too.
Oh, wait, that wasn't a pun.
I heard the word shit and you're that's for sure.
Yeah, I didn't ask it.
That's fucked up.
All right, I'm the next thing.
Yeah, that's for the audience.
That's it.
You're just gonna talk right into that mic after?
It's my fart, dude.
Three strike rule.
You know what this is?
The baseball.
We're talking baseball.
No Cuban.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I got some roots in the sport.
No, the, I don't know if it's got,
it's official on some level in the legal system.
We're like, if you get in trouble,
the third strike, typically it's like,
you're gone for good.
I don't know what it's in specific states
or maybe it's a federal law,
but like your first defense,
typically you get a slap on the wrist.
But got, unless it's like,
what kind of offenses are we talking?
Well, that's, as I was gonna say,
it's like, if you murdered 17 people,
that goes beyond strength.
But I'm pretty sure it's like,
drug offenses, stuff like that.
We're like, you caught with weed once,
slap on the wrist.
You caught with weed maybe a little jail time.
But then third time is like,
you go to prison for the rest of your life.
Okay.
What's your take?
Even with little things like that?
Well, there's people serving sentences for weed.
I'm pretty sure it's hard.
It's wild.
It's because of that.
Of like, they see it as this,
it's a black or white,
not racial black or white,
but it's like, once you hit that three,
it doesn't matter what it is,
you're off to, you know, maximum security.
Per-ever.
No, but it's just such an extreme sentence
that it feels like, not maybe 10, 20 years
or something like that.
But enough to be like, holy shit,
you broke the third strike.
You're done.
I mean, I get like,
make it more severe,
the more times you offend,
but I don't know,
no one should do 20 years for weed.
Yeah, I mean, that's insane.
But it's, it,
I mean, it's nice to know
that the first one's okay.
It's kind of nice to know that
the first one is long as you're not committing murder.
Or, or I don't know,
you're, they're like, listen,
it's okay.
Just don't do it again.
But then you do it again.
I mean, it makes it's like,
all right, we're going to let you go.
But it's kind of,
and then you do it again.
Like, okay, maybe we can't let you go.
It's kind of, it's two more of those
that it kind of makes sense.
It's kind of nice.
The first, the first one.
Maybe even the second.
Yeah.
But then you really feel the taste
of how brutal it can be if they're like,
well, you did it three times.
And we told you two times not to.
And they just send you to prison.
Yeah. Well, what's your take on it?
I'm so mixed because the beginning
sounds so good.
Because I like,
what's the crime?
Just specifically weed?
I'm like, drug of,
schedule one drug of fences.
Or, you know,
like if you get,
I don't know.
Yeah.
I mean, typically if you get a pretty heavy
drug of fence,
your first time,
they'll give you like a probation sentence.
They won't send you to jail or prison.
And like, we're talking like selling bricks.
But then they're like,
hey, listen,
you fucked up.
Don't do that.
We're going to now keep an eye on you
with probation.
You know, a parole officer.
Or not parole probation officer.
But then it's kind of at that,
you know what?
Everyone has circumstances.
I get it.
But then the second one,
you're like, come on.
What are we doing here?
Yeah.
But then if I was in the same position,
I did three times,
I would be like, fuck that rule.
Because if I'm sent to prison for the rest of my life,
yeah, but you had so much opportunity to not
fuck up again.
Yeah, but what's the opportunity, man?
I don't want to talk on this point for too long,
but if it's like,
that's the only way you're making money,
or you live in literally squalor,
I don't know.
Yeah.
It's probably a bad setting.
It's hard to generalize.
I think it should be taken case by case,
not be a progressive thing.
That's probably the smartest I have.
It's a hard, fast rule.
Yeah.
That seems like nothing in life works that way.
Why should we apply to people's lives if they do something?
Ron, that's not heard, well,
get into far on this,
because it can go so deep
into the wise and house,
but let's just move on.
Let's do you have something else on me.
No, no, let's move on.
All right.
Another small story.
All these stories get popping up for the time
between the last podcast and this podcast.
But I think in high school, at this point,
you know, you always have those,
like not study halls,
but you have those moments in classes
where the teachers are like,
all right, go to work on the project,
whatever, and just kind of like does nothing,
and then you all go work on your shit.
It was one of those moments,
me and the crazy kids are on the back,
and the kids who like just don't want to work,
want to have fun.
Nice.
And
this kid,
was just telling us about like how his cousins
were showing him how to choke someone out.
And we're all, these are also,
the most of us in this circle,
we're all in the wrestling team.
So they're already kind of like,
into being physical and like, you know,
bettering, not getting the best of one another physically.
And he's talking about this,
and I'll never forget,
without warning,
just starts choking.
He's,
this kid staying up,
and he just starts choking his kid in the chair,
who the kid in the chair,
I'm kind of like,
he's kind of,
he's asking for,
he's kind of a douchebag,
and I was like,
this is pretty sweet,
but within seconds,
because you know,
he was doing it very effectively,
so the kid passed down like 10 seconds.
And I just remember,
there was the excitement of,
fuck it, this kid sucks,
and then the kid who got choked out,
started drooling like,
mini seizure,
but not jerking,
just like,
drool fell out,
he was like,
bobbin it,
like he was in a,
he was so terrifying,
because up until that point,
I've never seen,
especially in person,
I mean,
someone just go from like,
alive and well,
to zombie drooling,
like,
a corpse.
Your brain's like,
what the fuck?
Dude, it was crammed,
everyone in the circle was like,
just froze.
Even the guy who choked him.
Yeah, no dude, no joke,
because I'm pretty sure he had not done it.
Pretty sure,
pretty sure he was talking about his cousins,
like,
showing them how to do it,
but no one.
We just tried it in the back of class.
Try it in the back of class,
and just knocked this kid out,
seeing him trying to pressure
his head hit,
because we're like,
up against a wall in the back,
hit his head on the thing,
woke up,
but like,
his, I'll never forget his eyes were so red.
He opened his eyes,
just like,
believe it.
Looked like blood in his eyes,
like,
oh my god,
what the fuck just happened?
This all happened to matter
for 30 seconds,
just us being like,
the fuck yeah,
probably in the back of the class,
because like,
my cousins were talking about
choking people out,
does it,
and then that scene,
immediately,
wow,
nuts escalated fast,
very fast.
So he did the guy
agree to get choked out,
or not?
I don't think so,
but then it was also in that same,
you're in middle school,
you don't want to be a pussy
or high school.
So it kicked me out, bro.
Literally,
well, the kid woke up and was like,
oh, that was crazy,
but you can see like,
he was,
he was, he was,
he was fucked up,
and was like,
that was fine.
All right,
and then class ended.
We're like,
all right,
on the next class,
spell rings.
So we're talking about this again.
And the teacher didn't even know.
We, that all happened without any
notice in the teacher.
The teacher, you guys all just look up
at the rest of the class.
Oh, shit.
I mean, after the shock,
because initially we're all like,
we can't not look at the kid dying
in the back of the class.
And then,
I'm sure afterwards we're like,
and the teacher didn't see it.
So I don't know if any of the other kids saw him on.
That was fucking crazy.
This crazy no one saw.
Yeah, I mean,
30, 40 kids in the classroom.
We're all the way in the back.
Yeah, it's a classic environment.
Yeah, the people are allowing
working on projects,
you know,
that's what it's going to be.
Crazy.
I should ask,
do you have anything before I continue
down this list and keep shooting?
Should I?
I don't know.
Okay.
This one's not crazy,
but line about your age on a date.
Line about anything on it.
Well,
I should take that back.
You're on a dating app.
What can you lie about?
Hmm.
Because there's a lot of,
as I've perused more and more,
and actually had conversations,
there's a lot of weird things that people,
not that I can tell that are lies,
but that like people try to hide-ish.
Yeah.
One, I've noticed mostly is age.
And once again, I could be wrong,
but people are just saying they're like 25 to 30.
There's no way.
Really?
No way.
Yeah.
There's, they have wrinkles.
I'm like,
you're not really.
Yeah.
I'm like,
I've never seen this.
Really?
I'll take a snapshot.
They look like they're 40.
Easily.
Run like,
there's no way this person's around my age.
I'm like, what?
What are you doing here?
Like, when I see you in person,
that's insane.
That's, that's probably one of the crazy ones I've seen.
We're like,
to answer your question,
pretty much anything.
It's gonna be found out.
Like people lie about their height all the time.
And like, you can,
height ones a little more,
I think you get away with it.
If you lie about your height to a 59 girl,
she's gonna figure it out.
How is she?
Why 59?
To tall girls they know.
Because they're closer.
They're closer, yeah.
I guess, but it's like,
it's so hard to know it.
Unless you're, yeah,
I guess that's your point, right?
If you're closer to the height,
you know how tall it will be.
But most girls are not five.
Dude, I've seen a lot of prompts,
like, let's find out if you're actually six,
tall or whatever.
Yeah.
Interesting.
So I feel like that one,
you could,
most girls are not five nine.
They're shorter.
Yeah.
So it's probably way easier.
Hence why this is such a thing
everybody talks about now.
Like, a five,
which in the end,
who gives a fuck?
But a five nine dude,
five nine dude tells a five three girl,
I'm six foot two.
And they're like,
oh yeah.
And then they meet someone who's six,
well, they're like, oh, you got to be like six foot five or something.
And it's just this weird game.
But you could also,
you're going to lie by your career on there easily.
Like, I'm a doctor.
That would probably be the easiest one.
Yeah.
Because how other than like,
how could they validate that
unless you start living together?
But it's not like that same liar is probably not trying to.
He's not going for that.
Yeah, right.
I mean, there's the funny,
weird ones where
here's one thing I don't understand.
And this is now to come off.
What would be the word?
I don't know if transphobic would be the word,
but I'm on a dating app.
My preference is female.
Nice.
Straight heterosexual male.
Praise God.
If it problems.
That's right.
And but there'll be literal just dudes
who will put themselves as female.
I have seen that a couple times.
I've seen a lot of times where I'm just growing like,
it's funny to me.
Because I'm like,
you'll be scone to just like,
it's entertaining.
Because I'm like,
I'm like looking and being like women,
women, women, you know,
like or dislike,
grow the fuck and then just like,
Jerry.
It's just a two with like a mustache.
Oh, like straight up to not even like a man.
I mean, there's the trans ones
who we're trying then there's literally just men.
That is funny.
Yes.
I've never seen that.
Which maybe it is a joke,
but I've seen a lot of them where it's like,
it's just a guy.
Just being like,
Hey, looking for people who are declaring themselves as a straight male.
Yeah.
Which maybe it works a lot.
He's trying to flip someone.
Could be or maybe there's just a lot of
closeted homosexuals that like,
Oh, they're
they're all on there.
Could be and they're they know.
Yeah.
And like, that's the way in.
Which if that's the game and even when they're together,
like, yeah, we're both straight.
We just said we just fucking each other's that's illusion.
As long as I fuck his ass, I'm still straight.
Yeah.
Good bit.
If that's the game, that's genius.
I don't see it as that.
I see it as just.
I don't even I don't want to assume beyond someone's going,
you know, I identify as a female.
So I have the right to identify as female on this app,
even though straight men are looking for straight females on this,
on the settings.
So it blows my mind every day.
Once again, it's mostly funny.
Because you're scrolling and scrolling and just,
just John has a beard is a man trying to.
Yeah, there's there's no like, I'm feminine.
It's like, no, I'm a man.
Decent mount.
We just find out that I'm just looking for men on the app.
And they're like, fuck.
Swipe on what?
Talk to him.
See what he's going for.
Interesting.
That tried.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Well, we'll research about it.
That's a very good experiment to see what's going on.
There's no risk.
You just unmatched if Shake is weird.
Yeah, I mean, they don't.
It would not be.
If it got weird, that'd probably be more of a sign
than I'm not as straight as I think I am.
How far do you take this?
Yeah, man.
We start fucking immediately, dude.
I'm sorry.
All right, yeah.
But I guess that's, I don't know what else you can live.
I saw one.
It was so, it was a transgender woman.
Okay.
And they said something like,
I'm a woman.
If you're not attracted to me or your gay, I don't make the rules.
Oh, I mean, that's a crazy person.
I was like, whoa, what are we, what are we doing here?
That's that's psychotic behavior.
Yeah, it was just I respected the bluntness of it.
It's like, wow.
It just comes off the same person who's like, you know,
this is the way it is in any form.
It also going against.
It also sounds like you just made that rule.
It sounds like they are making the rules.
I like it.
Sure.
It's like, yeah, you just kind of made that up.
Yeah, right.
But they're making it up in the face of everyone's,
of what we accept as the English language
and what those words mean.
It goes against all of the meaning of those.
Yeah.
To say that if you don't like a trans sexual woman
as a man, then you're gay, it's kind of crazy.
It's like, how does that person operate though?
Like if that's their mentality, you don't want to know that.
I promise you.
But like, what are they looking for?
Someone's going to respond to that.
Yeah.
They will find a person who's like,
there's okay.
There's going to be someone who sees that and goes, huh.
And thinks about that in a way that's me.
I'm still thinking about it.
Fuck.
What I'm saying is that there's going to be someone out there
who goes, I'm not gay and has...
Or am I?
No, listen.
They have so much ego involved that they're going to say,
I'm not gay.
So the ego is going to take open all odds at the argument.
And I guarantee they get a lot of bites from some,
from some, be like, I'm not fucking gay.
Yeah.
Because it's not going to come from like, I don't know.
It's going to come from someone who's trying to
lean super, super left.
It's going to go like, this is equality.
Because you're identifying as a woman.
Even though I am not attracted to a man
identifying as a woman, I'm going to oblige by these
made up rules that people are talking about.
That goes against how I feel.
And that's going to happen because of someone's ego.
Yeah.
Well, I fully believe that we'll start an argument.
But like, as far as what are they looking for on the dating app?
Like, presumably they're there to find a partner.
Yeah.
Like, who, what kind of person are they going to find?
I mean, the person I'm just striving.
Or someone who wants to date that person.
Sure, there could be just someone who's in
due trans woman as well.
Which that also happens.
Like, in the end, who cares?
Yeah, no.
But it's the...
It's like someone...
What you're describing sounds like someone trying to trick you
into fucking them.
That's why I'm like...
What are we doing?
Dude.
Like, there will be someone who wants to fuck you.
Yes, because they're coming in with the premise of...
Like, how you're feeling is trying to like...
Right, they're trying to like mess with you.
Whatever you're feeling, they're like, no, that's wrong.
Listen to this thing I made up.
It's fucking crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's nuts.
But going off this point, next time I have an opportunity
to swipe on those people.
Absolutely.
The trans woman...
I was just going to swipe right if I see that again.
Yeah.
Which I'm very...
The trans woman's interesting.
Nothing to be more interesting to get the ones
that are just being like, I'm a dude.
I want to hear the...
I want to hear their story on that side and see what it is.
But, till next time for that one.
Beats wants to be friends.
Here's just a...
I'm like, I should...
I should have to cut this.
But...
At the company I've been working at,
we use this thing called Monday,
which is like a project planning thing.
It used to be advertised all the time.
I don't know.
Okay, it's just a workflow project.
Like you put a task on a board,
and everyone can see the board.
It's, you know.
And so, I forgot what the one was recently.
But, whenever we would post
the word analytics,
it was doing this double...
It's like, say you have two words,
like analytics engine,
which was the one I can think of.
It would shorten the first word for some reason.
So, all through, I would just say,
anal engine.
All over the board.
That's just comedy.
And there.
Dude, and...
Like, this...
My boss, every once in a while,
would just send me a snippet,
because it would do it all the time with different words.
I can't think of another one now.
But, anal engine of just like,
we had to sit in the meeting with the client
and go through this thing on the board.
And it's just anal engine,
the entire time.
How can you...
I would laugh every time.
Dude, it...
Dude...
It's just there.
And everyone just has to ignore it.
It's on the board.
It's just...
But like, talking about the test,
I'd be like, all right,
we got analetics engine here,
and it's just blown up,
and everyone can see anal engine.
I mean, anal engine is hilarious.
By default, that's a great turn.
It's probably on Urban Dictionary somewhere.
An anal engine, what drives the ass.
What that means.
I don't know.
Good tie to this.
Another story.
It works with like pistons.
There's a lot of mechanical stuff going on.
Yes.
In community college, which I went to,
I had this Russian chemist teacher,
who...
He...
Him and I had a very good report,
and I was one of his...
No, I mean...
Not to do my own.
One of his best studenties.
Okay.
Was...
I was always there,
got an A in the class,
went to his office hours,
and like, you know,
because I was...
It was a hard class,
so I needed to go to it.
So like,
and very few kids in community college,
which I felt ever went to office hours.
Like, they just didn't use it.
Most kids...
So he liked me,
but a good report.
And then he...
On the syllabus,
it had all of the weeks lined up with like,
you know, lab analysis,
like what we're doing week by week, day by day.
Another instance of shortening,
where it literally...
It was data analysis,
and it's so short,
it's a dat anal.
And dude...
Friends with him on Facebook.
I posted that on Facebook,
totally forgetting.
Oh my God.
I have it today.
I can find it of him going...
Him commenting on that post.
He's gay too.
So it's like,
it was this layered thing of,
oh, fuck did he think I was just making fun of him being gay?
And I'm pretty sure he just said,
ha ha on the post.
It was...
It was from his material.
This is...
This might cut too.
This is also a man who's probably sent me over $5,000 to $10,000
over the course of my life through PayPal.
Just...
For no reason.
Pretty sure he just wanted to...
Have stacks with me.
But...
He just sent me tons of money.
Dude, it was crazy.
Why was he paying you money?
I don't know.
When he first messaged me,
it was like Christmas happened.
And he was like,
hey, do you have a PayPal
just through Facebook messager?
I was like,
yeah.
And I was a kid who was like,
it's got just got sent me money.
It seemed like $300 on a Christmas.
And I was like,
whoa!
You're a professor?
Yeah, he was like,
you're married Christmas.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like,
dude,
so...
And then I progressed to like,
you know,
I would post on Facebook
about all these festivals.
He would just buy me a ticket.
I've never...
This guy was grooming you.
But I never like...
Met...
I...
We had class.
And then class ended.
And then that shit started on a Christmas.
I had...
Since the last class I had,
I've never seen that man again.
And you just...
You're after all throughout college,
probably sent me money.
The money came in after you saw him last.
Yeah, like the Christmas after.
So like,
you know,
so that...
And then that was the end of the course.
It's like, I...
He starts any money.
And the second he started,
I haven't seen him till this day.
But he'll wish me a happy birthday.
He'll reach out.
When's the last time he sent you money?
Oh, I mean, end of college.
So like, but he sent me money for probably five years.
And I should probably say this.
When he did originally,
I was like, I can't...
This is...
I can't take things.
Like, no, no, no.
Like...
Oh, sure, yeah.
And I was like, when he pushed back on me saying,
no, that's like,
all right, I tried just...
I did my...
Yeah, you tried.
And then that, you know,
the first couple of times after that,
when it was like...
my birthday, or he would...
I remember one time specifically.
This happens to nobody.
This is so weird.
Dude, I know.
This is one thing I tell people,
like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Dude, it's a good looking kid.
You know what, one of my good kids...
Dude, you must have seen something in your eyes.
Or just want to fuck me.
It's one of those two.
No, no, those are the same thing.
You want to fuck me.
Oh, oh, you want to fuck me.
He saw...
I see.
Fair enough.
But...
Maybe he thought you were poor.
I don't think so.
Give up poor vibes.
No.
I mean, I come from a...
I mean, middle-class family,
but...
Definitely wasn't like.
I think he just liked...
I don't even know.
Anyway, the one time I remember it being kind of nuts
was when my credit card...
or my...
I only used a debit card for a lot of my life.
Did have a credit card to buy this folder.
And...
So...
Someone had just...
gone access to my debit card and drained my entire account.
Don't know how it happened.
Oh, that's a fuck.
Yeah, and I was like...
Posted on Facebook about...
Back in the day when you post a lot of shit on Facebook.
Yeah.
Like, it was like...
I just did that.
And some of them were.
So, this Facebook post was bad.
But...
Posted...
This happened.
Credit card.
Immediately get messaged by him.
How much do you need?
I was like, no, don't do that.
He just sent me like...
$700.
Like anyone else give me money.
Yeah, I was just like...
It was so strange.
And then eventually it just...
I haven't taught...
Once again...
Birthday.
He'll message me directly.
I'm really happy birthday.
I bought a house of gone.
But...
He'll still message you on your birthday?
Yeah.
I mean, now send me money.
But you're most recent birthday message.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, hang.
He's a very cool, nice dude.
Very smart.
And just...
And I mean...
Very Russian.
It's such a...
It sounds like it's fake.
But I have the red receipt.
I have the messages.
I have the PayPal statements.
Like it existed.
Yeah.
So what time we at?
Just so we...
I feel like that's good to close the one.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe we'll dig into it more about
my relationship with this...
Yeah.
Ratu, this...
That was...
We can't cut that, dude.
That was crazy.
I mean, it's nuts.
I mean, as long as we don't say the name,
it's totally fine.
But all right.
Well, that was nice.
Until next time, folks.
All right.
Bye!