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Episodes

Full transcripts, show notes, and chapter markers for every episode.

30 episodes · 395,581 words of searchable content

Why Nukes, Kids on Bikes, and Penguins Are Weirder Than You Thought

Episode 30 · 12,843 words · Full transcript

The hosts cover a wild range of topics from a nuclear near-disaster caused by a dropped wrench to getting bullied by kids while playing pickleball. They dive into dark survival stories like a rugby te

Lobsters Don't Die, But We Might

Episode 29 · 13,090 words · Full transcript

In this episode, the hosts dive into the myths of lobster immortality, explore the bizarre world of AI horror. They also touch on cultural differences in diet and the implications of nuclear deterrenc

Dear Diary, Evan Finally Did This

Episode 28 · 14,626 words · Full transcript

In this episode, the hosts dive into a range of topics from the absurdity of registering improv skills as lethal weapons to the dark humor of P Diddy's alleged antics. They also explore the complexiti

What About the Onesies, Mr. Kennedy?

Episode 27 · 12,494 words · Full transcript

In this episode, the hosts dive into a range of topics from RFK's stance on Big Pharma and his grilling by Bernie Sanders, to the absurdity of gifting a 55-gallon drum of lube. They also explore the f

God's Butt Plug and Other Scientific Discoveries

Episode 26 · 10,319 words · Full transcript

In this episode, the hosts discuss climate change skepticism, the potential eruption of Yellowstone, and the humorous concept of God's anatomy. They also share a funny encounter with bike cops and del

POV: You Don't Know What POV Means

Episode 25 · 10,676 words · Full transcript

In this episode, the hosts dive into the awkward social dynamics of choosing a godfather, rant about the misuse of the term 'POV' online, and discuss the irony of saying 'I'm humbled' when receiving a

Episode 24

Episode 24 · 11,835 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into various 'fake problems' including Ashley Madison cheating websites, persistent dating advice, and whether there are income caps on disabled people but not billionaires. The convers

Episode 23

Episode 23 · 11,177 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into Michael Jackson castration conspiracy theories, debate the flaws of democracy and government efficiency, and explore random topics from James Bond's terrible spy skills to whether

Episode 22

Episode 22 · 8,577 words · Full transcript

The hosts return from holiday break to discuss various random topics including Project 2025, pet peeves about people saying 'I'm proud of you,' and whether bartenders should serve mentally handicapped

Episode 21

Episode 21 · 11,702 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into bizarre topics ranging from towns with sexual names getting free Pornhub premium to North Korean soldiers discovering internet porn for the first time. They also discuss controvers

Episode 20

Episode 20 · 12,451 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into various 'fake problems' including the psychology of Amazon reviews, the awkwardness of certain medical specialties, and a personal experiment with non-alcoholic beer. They also exp

Episode 19

Episode 19 · 11,758 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into fascinating follow-ups including why powering the world with Sahara Desert solar panels could destroy the Amazon rainforest, and whether you can actually burp out a fart. They also

Episode 18

Episode 18 · 11,859 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive deep into controversial topics including historical labor dynamics, the psychology of female vs male pedophiles, and whether pedophilia can be cured. They also discuss modern phenomena

Episode 17

Episode 17 · 10,975 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive deep into uncomfortable territory, debating incest laws, sharing threesome experiences, and discussing a disturbing Reddit story about whether someone should tell their fiancé about a p

Episode 16

Episode 16 · 10,225 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into various 'fake problems' including dating app pet peeves, coffee addiction struggles, and philosophical discussions about perception and relationships. They explore everything from

Episode 15

Episode 15 · 11,366 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into fake problems ranging from quarter-zip fashion confusion to dating app morning messages, while exploring wild hypotheticals about gas-powered adult toys and prison simulation techn

Episode 14

Episode 14 · 10,957 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into various pet peeves including people overusing '100 percent' as a response, the logistics of powering the world with solar panels, and the awkwardness of animal buttholes being cons

Episode 13

Episode 13 · 11,639 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into research updates revealing Chris Angel as a complete fraud who pays audiences to react to fake magic tricks, then explore the wild world of naked dating shows and bizarre social ph

Episode 12

Episode 12 · 12,206 words · Full transcript

The Fake Problems Podcast tackles bizarre hypotheticals and observations with a special guest, covering everything from the social dynamics of petting strangers' dogs to why smartphones never appear i

Episode 11

Episode 11 · 11,052 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into follow-ups from previous episodes including the giant seaweed blob that never materialized, then explore controversial topics like fake boobs being potentially transphobic, skincar

Episode 10

Episode 10 · 11,506 words · Full transcript

The hosts discuss various awkward and gross situations including cats eating their dead owners, drinking from a moldy water bottle, and a plane emergency landing due to someone having explosive diarrh

Episode 9

Episode 9 · 10,072 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into various fake problems including the mystery of how modern magic actually works, the persistence of duck face photos on dating apps, and whether it's better to know what you look li

Episode 8

Episode 8 · 10,664 words · Full transcript

The hosts return from a break to discuss various fake problems including whether skipping grades is child abuse, wild middle school camp stories involving Axe Body Spray incidents, and Stephen Hawking

Episode 7

Episode 7 · 17,757 words · Full transcript

The hosts discuss a disastrous techno festival experience, dive deep into recent alien/UFO testimony to Congress, and explore various random topics from buffets to Down syndrome demographics. They als

Episode 6

Episode 6 · 13,352 words · Full transcript

The hosts return after a long break to discuss everything from half marathons and Mormon soaking practices to the importance of loving your enemies. They share personal stories about converting confli

Episode 5

Episode 5 · 20,464 words · Full transcript

The hosts discuss one member's transformative jury duty experience that restored his faith in the judicial system and gave him a sense of purpose he'd been missing. They also share a bizarre story abo

Episode 4

Episode 4 · 21,043 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive into movie analysis starting with 'It Follows' and its mysterious 1980s technology, then explore controversial topics like zoos, child labor laws, and whether animals are truly happy in

Episode 3

Episode 3 · 20,854 words · Full transcript

Two friends dive deep into coffee addiction, workout culture, and random philosophical tangents while discussing everything from David Goggins to medieval torture methods. The conversation covers thei

Episode 2

Episode 2 · 20,686 words · Full transcript

The hosts discuss their experiences with open mic comedy nights, share stories about family dynamics and awkward shopping trips, and dive deep into various topics ranging from military intervention an

Episode 1

Episode 1 · 17,356 words · Full transcript

The hosts dive deep into recent train safety issues following the Ohio derailment, sharing personal stories about concussions and college fight clubs, and discussing everything from corrupt politician