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What's up?
To the cheese crust.
It's my new intro.
What's up?
Yeah.
We're back with the fake thumbs up, kids.
Welcome back, buddy.
It's good to be back.
It's good to be back.
That all one knows how long it's been.
Feels like a lifetime.
We should say that every episode, honestly,
because we've been gone for a long time.
Because we have.
It takes us like a month, really small.
That's true.
The episodes are starting to get longer and longer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is mostly my fault, because I've been just lagging ass on.
Nah, dude, you're fine.
Dude, you edit them quickly.
I do crush them.
You do, like literally if there's stuff in the hopper,
you go through it.
I have no life.
I'm, that's it.
Dude, but I have time where I could also do it.
And I've been trying, episode five when I did it,
but it was just like, fuck, I need to just sit down
and do it.
I'm so bad about it.
Anyway.
Can get better, man.
Yeah, we can improve, right?
Like what the podcast's all about.
Improvement.
That's right.
That's the cornerstone of the fake problem spot.
I guess it's us getting better.
We should give people advice.
Feel like we have.
We have.
To the unsolicited advice that medical advice.
A lot of that.
Money advice.
How to be a better person advice when we're, I'm pretty,
not, I mean, you're a pretty amazing person.
Oh, thanks, dude.
Yeah.
I was gonna say, I think we're both just average dudes, maybe.
But, most people are average.
So we're a given out advice to the people that are most likely
to hear and be like, yeah, sounds like my life.
Yeah, I made two friends that listen.
Thank God for them.
Without them, we'd be broke and on the streets.
All right.
Anything you want to talk about before we dig in?
I know it's been months and months,
it's been less podcast.
Anything substantial?
I'm like life updates.
Sure.
Like anything.
I ran my first half marathon yesterday.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Just by myself.
Oh, is it, wait, like you sign up though?
And then it's like, are you saying you just ran one?
Oh, dude, fuck yeah.
Yeah, how did you like it?
I mean, it was kind of rough.
Yeah, my knees hurt really bad.
Yeah, are you just on pavement?
Yeah, I'm pretty much that'll hurt, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a, do you normally run that low?
But no, I mean, never that long.
But what?
So I was in Colorado.
I was like, I got to take advantage of what I had.
I told you many men you did it when you,
because I did it immediately when I got back.
I was like, I gotta use this extra oxygen.
Oh, okay.
All right, back up.
I'm now understanding.
Yeah.
Because you had acclimated to the Colorado
when you got back to Wisconsin.
I was like, I'm free now.
Oh, I like that.
I just busted it out and it really fucking hurt.
I almost pulled my calves.
Dude, that's a dangerous one.
Yeah.
Do you run a good amount every day?
I run that every day.
I'll do like a five mile or every now and then.
Okay, that's a decent chunk.
I think if you can do a five mile.
It's not like that outrageous.
It's a little outrageous,
because I wasn't training for it.
Yeah.
The, I don't know who I was just listening to about this,
but they say that a half marathon is the one that's,
if you run like exercise, you can do it.
A marathon's the one that people don't realize
that at like at mile 20, your body starts to shut down.
There's things that happen that would never ever happen
in the lower range.
We're like, you'll shit yourself.
You'll pee yourself.
Your quad will just cramp.
And like, there's a certain,
where most people just start hitting stuff like that.
I started feeling that around my all time.
Yeah.
And like, because you only have so much juice, man.
Yeah.
Your body's like, what am I supposed to do?
I'm running out of juice and then just starts using other,
you know, energy pathways and falls apart.
I brought a hell yeah.
That's awesome.
Afterwards, you felt pretty great though, right?
Other than the pain in the head.
I was pretty, I had joints.
Yeah, no, I was like, I've kind of been wanting to do it
for a while.
Yeah, I've just been like putting off signing up for one.
Like a real race.
And I was like, I'm just gonna do it.
Give it a go.
I used to, maybe I've mentioned this before,
but there was one summer.
Literally.
Yeah, you were crushing half my earth.
I quit drinking rate months.
And I was like, I have, now I just need to have,
I have to do something because we have so much energy.
Yeah.
As opposed to, it's insane.
Just binge drinking once on a weekend.
It so curbs the natural energy that kills you.
It's insane.
So, didn't drink for eight months.
Maybe five months in, I started reading this book called
Finding Ultra about this guy running ultra marathon's.
And I was like, dude, this is, it's insane.
It sounds so, it sounds like an adventure that,
he was 43 when he started doing them,
which isn't also insane.
Yeah, and it just crushing it.
The life just goes downhill at that point.
Right, it's one of those books of like, at any point in time,
unless you like 90, that's probably the exception.
Or like very, very late life, you can like,
completely turn your life around.
He was also a very alcoholic.
Sivirally overweight.
And was like, now fuck this, I'm going plant-based.
I'm going to start doing ultra marathon's.
And then he went to Hawaii and circled all five of the islands
with an ultra marathon, told like,
1200 miles, a mix of like, running bikings women.
It's insane story.
Good book to read.
To hell with.
Anyway, read that.
I was like, hell yeah.
I could do that.
I'm gonna do this.
Then bought those barefoot running shoes,
and then it's worked up to, I say,
every other day was running close to 13 miles with Jesus.
And at a certain point, it used to get used to it.
And you're like, okay, time to do the next level.
But then it takes like two hours.
It takes a good chunk of time.
And then you're just, for most of your day,
you're kind of cached.
Because you're just using like, every other day,
that's like, why?
Dude, I mean, because literally it gets to a point for me
where the energy level of me wanted to go do it.
But then it was-
You had to.
Yeah, dude.
It was either that or, like, tennis is a good example
of like that in between, where it's like a thing
I like doing that as opposed to the running I like doing,
but after a mile seven, it's like, what are we doing?
Yeah.
We're just fucking, this is just-
Oh, also I looked at calories burned on my half marathon.
Yeah.
I burned way more plan like a set of tennis.
Yeah, I mean, the heart rate thing.
You're just working at a higher heart rate zone.
Because you're just like doing suicides all the time.
But anyway, nice, awesome, good shit.
Maybe sign up for one in the future.
And, or have-
Yeah, maybe full.
But then at that point, it's like, I do want to compete.
You want to be better.
Trying to decide if I want to do a full one.
Because it sounds awful.
Yeah, it's a big commitment.
And at a certain point, I don't know.
You got to love running or you got to want like,
I don't know.
Actually, people can have the reasons.
I never saw.
I got to that 13 mile point, I was like,
I was always very much like, who gives a shit?
Yeah, how far you run.
Yeah, why it's an arbitrary distance?
Yeah.
The people who do it at the crazy extremes,
like the Iron Man and the Ultra, they're like,
they talk about the mental aspect that you gain from it.
Because at a certain level, it's all mental gain.
You can have like all the physicality locked in,
but then it's only your mind pushing you past
this physical degrading state after like, mile 15 or 20 or 30.
Yeah, I'm obviously not an elite athlete,
but I was kind of, I've heard that a million times,
like it's all mental.
Yeah.
I was kind of feeling like, I feel like I'm just going to go
until something gives out.
Sure, you're right.
Which, that feels more physical and mental.
Like, I thought I was going to hit a point
where my calf just blew up and I would not be able
to run anymore.
Which people will run through that.
How fucked you do that?
You know, David Goggins is.
He's like a whole beginning story.
He's aiming, ruining his body.
But just using his mind, like, I'm going to keep going.
He's like, but to get really literally pull something
while running.
Oh, yeah, dude.
His first 100 mile error, which qualifies you
for one of these ultra marathons.
It's in his book, can't hurt me.
He like ruins, he either ripped his hamstring or both,
or he literally had to go to the hospital right after.
Because like two things ripped at like mile 70.
Just kept running.
Yeah.
So what you should not do, that's going
to hurt you in the long run.
Oh, stay hard.
Yeah, stay erect.
Is what he says.
All right, let's do some topics.
Yes.
We can try to talk on this one.
That doesn't make any sense.
Probably can't, but I have in this document
that says, side job, old people being lit on fire.
Did you just wake up and write that down?
I have no idea.
I have no idea why I wrote that down.
What could that mean?
Let's discuss how we could make money off
of lighting old people on fire.
That's probably what you're going for.
I don't know.
I mean, is there a business opportunity there?
Do people want old people to live on fire?
Maybe it was like cremation.
Trying to be like a side cremator.
That could be, that sounds a lot more realistic
than lighting.
Certainly dead old people, right?
So so.
Live old people lighting them on fire is a bad look.
Yes.
So it's, so yeah, I would think maybe in the cremation.
Sounds like an awful side hustle.
But it does exist.
I think I'm getting a hint of memory.
Let's bring it back.
Yeah, yeah, let's do a live.
Because that's definitely a business of people.
Cremation, yeah.
For sure.
So it's, I don't know, man.
I don't know what I linked to.
Maybe you found like some tax loophole or something.
You're like, I could make a ton of money on this.
But it's burning old people.
If we just buy an incinerator, we just like put it in.
That is, that's how do you ever see Ozark?
Yeah, yeah.
That's how you're already bird-laundered some money.
And you know, he disposed of his body.
I was going to say that's how I got rid of a lot of the bodies,
which brought to him.
Dude, this is a weird question.
Dude, bones melted at a certain temperature.
They have to.
Right.
So what temperatures is that?
Because you always see him put an incinerator and bones come out.
I don't know.
It's got to be some old question.
Could you have something hot up that could truly just like melt
about any.
Melt entirely.
Well, when you cremate people, isn't like,
if they have like a metal tooth or something,
doesn't that stay behind?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But also what's going to make that?
I would say that would melt before bones.
Depends what the metal is, right?
If it's gold, has a lower melting point.
But if it's like steel, I think it's higher.
Who fucking knows?
But apparently through all these shows, the way to do it is a giant
barrel and hydrochloric acid.
It seems to do it.
Oh, yeah.
Just turning to goo.
Walter White did it first.
Yeah.
Ozara copied it.
That's the only two.
Someone had to do it before them.
Because there was in real life probably.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, the car tells me to do that since the beginning of time.
But yeah, I mean, you got to just have the out who fucking knows
I mean, this is getting so far away from the old people
hanging on fire.
I have no idea what that was going to connect.
But let's just go to the next thing.
Because that one didn't work out.
All right.
Have you ever gone to a point where you are trusted too much
with something and it makes you lazy?
I had a couple of these moments that
specifically had a job.
Yeah, we're like, so when you first get to a job,
people are more bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Yeah, and they check in.
They check your work.
They check your stuff.
Oh, true.
You know, like, and then at a certain point,
if you're good enough at your job, people stop doing that.
To a certain degree, where like they really are like,
we trust you now.
As most things should happen, right?
If someone's doing the job good enough,
or anything in life good enough, at a certain point you go,
I trust you to do this.
For sure.
But I found myself in one or two instances,
this had to be before going vacation.
But I literally just pushed them shit through
and some senior person didn't do it.
I was like, oh, yeah, looks good without fully checking it.
Because you're like, you 98% of the time,
it's entirely fine.
And just made its way into production.
And I was like, oh, fuck.
And it was a weird moment of like, oh, dude, I can't get it.
I could do something bad.
Yeah, it's kind of like as the trust goes up,
the stakes also get higher.
Yes, your mistakes will make it further before being caught.
Yes. And it's almost all on you.
Oh, man, terrifying moment.
But also, there's a, it's fucked up
that it takes those moments to reel it back into like,
you just hope that it's not catastrophic.
That 2% of things in slide through
and just ruin something terribly.
And then it could be possible you can't unwork that.
And you're just, you have to learn from that mistake
as opposed to a small one.
Yeah, I mean, did you not have like a code review or something?
I did, but it was no shame on the person reviewing my stuff,
but it was just something that seemed simple enough.
But I forgot a small thing that was like, oh, fuck.
So, yeah, so have you had any of those?
I probably, it's a human thing on some level.
There's probably a million examples of things
that both you and I have did, both work and human life
where you just kind of, I mean, I could see like,
you've been doing the same thing for 10 years
and you kind of just go through the motions.
Yeah.
But I feel like it should be that
because odds you make a mistake at that point
are probably lower.
Right.
He's done the same thing over and over.
For sure.
Yeah, no.
That's, it was a weird one, but felt it and was like, fuck, dude.
Yeah, well, now you'll just have a tight butthole all the time.
All the time.
We'll make any mistakes.
And more stress.
Yeah.
That's what we fucking need.
All right.
I've heard of this thing a bunch.
I think I've ever really talked about in detail,
but it still blows my mind every time it comes up.
You know what Mormons are, right?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You know what soaking is?
For sure.
Okay.
And then you know of this whole thing that teenagers do
where they literally have like people will be soaking
and they'll have someone jump on the area they are
to like make it sex.
Oh yeah.
Talk about the crazy religious loophole.
Like, hey, we're not moving.
It's like, why is that okay?
It's so much weirder.
It's so nuts.
But that's happening.
It's a, it happened.
It's probably happening right now.
For sure.
It just think that it's happened so much in that community
that it's reached the people who are not Mormon.
They're like, oh yeah, this is going on so much that.
We know what that is.
That also, your friend who's doing this is just,
essentially watching you have sex.
The person who's moving whatever you're on.
Probably face the other way.
Come on.
They might take a peep.
Yeah, I mean, you're a teenager.
Also, you're the teenager not soaking
and your friends are like, yo,
we're soaking, could you like,
it's kind of a cuck game on some of them.
Probably like scratch my back, you'll scratch mine.
Oh, they flip the soak.
Not with the same girl obviously,
but they're helping each other out.
I mean, hey, that's a symbiotic relationship.
It's probably like just as key to finding an actual partner
is finding your soak partner.
Damn.
That's actually gotta be pretty true
because you gotta really, you gotta trust that person.
Yeah, because I just,
just try to imagine a friend helping me have sex.
I mean, if you think I wouldn't help you so.
I mean, dude, you're not what I thought it was.
We gotta cancel the podcast.
I mean, that's, that has to be a diehard homie
who's literally going to help you have sex.
That guy will go to jail for you.
That guy will do anything to him.
If he's, if he's essentially moving your hips
and thrusting you into a girl,
whether it be through the means of a bed or something else,
that's, well, could he just,
no, no, no, no, no.
Actually, could you just grab your hips
and thrust him for you?
You weigh more intimate, but is that allowed?
He's essentially having sex with you.
I mean, he's just jackhammering you into someone.
So, so he's fully clothed.
Well, I mean, he's whatever.
But then if he's jackhammering you with his thrust,
you're not doing anything.
And you're just, I'm an honest Abe,
just hanging out.
My girlfriend happens to be here.
You're a good Mormon.
You're just there.
But isn't it, isn't, if he's naked behind me thrusting,
he's proud, that's probably,
there's no reason for him to be naked.
That's okay.
So he's clothed.
We're assuming this man's clothed.
No way.
This changes anything.
Because if he's naked, that's way closer to like,
penetration sex.
If I'm naked and dudes behind me helping me
have sex with my girlfriend and then you thrusting into me,
I guess if there's, if it's just, if he's flaccid,
then it's fine.
But if he's hard, it's sex then.
I mean, not, I guess they would have to go in,
but yeah, that's what, back to the point though,
this friend, how many of your friends
do you think would do that for you?
When you're a teenager, honestly,
you're like, listen to a teenager.
If you're like, man, we're all Mormon here,
but we all gotta get soaked at some point.
And we all know just sockets not doing it for us.
So I need you to jump on, I need you to shake the bed.
I could think of like two people saying,
maybe three.
I'd say there's probably two in my life.
Also, technical question.
Okay.
If like, the act of you just moving back and forth
inside someone is wrong, how do you get in there?
The entering's not okay.
Yeah, because it's initially.
So you get one forward thrust on God.
Exactly.
And then you can't do anything else.
That's too initiate to soak.
The initiation thrust.
Why is the first thrust okay?
Because you're just in there.
You're just going in.
Dude, if I were them,
I would try to just get everything out of that first thrust.
What do you mean?
Absolute power thrust and just have that be it.
Just get off.
You're suggesting a true one pump.
Yeah.
They got to exist out there.
I mean, don't give me your own.
I have definitely below double digits pump chump.
For sure.
In my heyday.
But one, you gotta be so pent up, dude.
Actually, I think that's technically half a thrust.
I think one thrust is down and up.
I don't know.
I would say a thrust is going in.
What's the upswing call to say?
Just like a recharge?
Because a thrust is going forward.
So single thrust, no recharge.
And that's your counting back thrust.
Which if you're back, that can't be a understatement.
That's an important piece.
Well, your butt is technically thrusting back.
Or in the bust direction is thrusting forward.
If you want to think about it.
True.
So if you're counting your butt,
but I think here we're talking about the penis.
For the most part with the thrust.
If you want to get technical about it,
we are getting technical.
I agree.
So, so you're saying the ideal situation
is you're so pent up that that single thrust initiates a bust.
Now, this is interesting.
What are the rules about non-penetrative sex for Mormons?
That's something I would want to know.
I don't know.
Can they do blow jobs?
Like every other religion.
Do you have to like soak a hand job as well?
Just hold the hand up.
Keep your arms stiff.
God, it's so much more worse.
I love the idea that there's tears to soaking
from like a blow job.
Because that's the only way.
Oh, man, a soaking blow job would be terrible.
It's just someone's mouth on a dick.
It's just sitting there.
That'd be awful.
All this being said, I think you're,
I mean, if you have a friend to help you do the thrusting,
you know, thrust or whatever,
because then you have someone moving you.
Also, that's got to feel so strange.
Think about being stationary and having someone.
I was just thinking that might, that's kind of nuts.
It would feel someone's like using you to fuck someone else.
Like just as if I'm being the jumper.
No, no, no, no, you're the guy.
It's as if something's grabbing you
and fucking someone else with you.
Yeah.
Like there's probably a kink there somewhere.
Getting just like used to fuck something.
Probably.
Sounds kind of hot.
I'm not gonna lie.
I think I might be in a soaking next.
And also, is there a section of porn hump that's just soaking?
There's gotta be.
Yeah, there's no way it's not.
There's crazy porn out there.
For sure.
It's just such a one that's like, it's almost,
no, it's gotta be out there.
Definitely probably gonna look it up
and see what it's all about.
But we'll see.
Do some research.
Yeah.
I would love to talk to an actual Mormon about this
to see like, how do you have that conversation with someone?
I feel like I'm so far away from knowing a Mormon.
Dude, they're everywhere in Salt Lake City.
I mean, they're like, actually, I had a new one growing up
to a, actually, I was friends with one for a while.
There was a, get them on the line.
I mean, she, I mean, I haven't talked to her since like seventh grade.
Call her up.
But there was, there was a couple of years where we'd like,
we would go to her Mormon.
Oh man, I have such a story that's such a weird, do it.
All right, it's not a good moment in my life,
but are any of these that I'm talking about?
No, no, they never have.
I think this is sixth grade.
I'm on the wrestling team.
This friend who's a Mormon, she's like,
one of the main friends in our friend group at the time.
It's like me, my good friend, her, this other guy
that she met through her church and some other dude.
So like, you know, doing just like basic sixth grade ship,
go to their place, drink a bunch of mountain dew, jump around.
No.
You helped them soak into.
I fucking wish, dude.
That would have been so much.
Jump around.
What were you doing?
Shut up.
Don't pull my cover.
And so, and like, I never really realized they were Mormon
till we'd like go to their church and stuff.
But there was, it seems so similar to like being a Catholic
or a Christian, it was just like, we'd go,
there was nothing that different.
All, there was a lot of people who had a lot of kids though.
That was the one thing that stood out.
They had like bigger families.
And so I'm like, we're hanging out with this girl.
You know, it's at the time where you're starting
to become like super interested in girls.
Like dude, fucking sex.
Like what is that?
And all I know is I'm getting boners and girls are hot now.
It's like what is happening?
And so I'm on the wrestling team in sixth grade.
I'm talking to this girl who I, the girl of that group.
And she's like, yeah, this is before my space even,
or at least before I was using it.
And this girl was like, there was one significant moment
where she was on the phone with one of her friends.
And then, you know, this is the back of the day
where we'd hang out.
So I'm just be talking on the phone.
Like talking to one of their friends in the room
while we're just doing something else.
And it's just, we're kids.
And like, I'm like, who is that person?
She's like, oh, it's my friend, blah, blah, blah.
And then it's somewhere at this conversation,
I just get her number and start taxing her.
And then we're like taxing back and forth
without having ever seen each other.
And then start talking on the phone.
She goes, do we, if this is the Mormon girl?
This is the Mormon girl's friend she was talking to on the phone.
And it escalates to where we're talking on the phone
with each other.
We've never met each other still.
It's probably been like a month or two.
And at some point my dumb sixth grade brain just like,
goes, man, I like this person without ever meeting them.
Yeah.
And so like we start getting on that level.
I've been like, no, we like each other and stuff like that.
And she's like, oh, I want to come meet you.
And I'm like, yeah, that'd be fucking awesome.
So one of my wrestling meets at my school.
For the first time, she comes out to meet me.
And this, you know, I'm in sixth grade.
So this is shitty, but just so not attracted to this person
from a physical standpoint where I was like, I imagine in my head
this, you know, a model you were just prepped for dating apps.
Yes, yes, dude.
I was like, oh, this is going to be the bash.
She's going to be so like it's going to be everything.
My sixth grade brain imagine is like,
a hot chick who just happened to not want to meet
until my wrestling meet.
And then now it was a moment of had that wrestling
and then just didn't talk to her anymore.
I just cut it off.
I didn't know how I was so like, I don't know what to do now.
Don't get shit, reach out.
It just, it was, you know, the standard of
sentiment response.
Yeah, short responses and the longer time
between answering and eventually got the hint.
But I remember being like, that was so terrible,
but also I don't have the balls of that time to be like,
I'm not physically attracted to you.
I didn't know what to say as a sixth grader to be like,
yeah, how do I communicate this without hurting someone?
And it seemed like the easiest way was just to be like,
to not talk to them.
But then she started just being around us more.
And it was like, oh God, this is even fucking worse.
I still remember her name in my head.
Till this day, her first and last time.
Yeah, fucking, but they were Mormon.
I can't get it.
To tie this all together.
Yeah, they were all Mormon.
They're super cool.
But just weird.
You don't have the tools when you're that young.
It's like, I feel like you should never be like,
year ugly.
That's why I don't like you.
For sure.
Yeah, no, don't do that.
But definitely like you, it is hard to be straight up
with someone like, I'm not interested.
It's hard to do that as a 30 year old.
I was gonna say I've had a million situations.
I was like, fuck.
Did that middle schoolish that you did?
Like a year ago.
Yeah.
It's amazing to think that 24 year,
how old is that in sixth grade?
You're what?
11, 10 maybe.
So 20 years have passed and I still were the same.
Yeah, not a lot has changed.
I haven't grown up at all.
Like I don't know what I would do
if I ran into that situation, modern day.
If you were, if you met some girl online
that you didn't have her picture.
I would meet her fair.
Yeah, I guess it's a different time.
Yeah.
Antitail, dude, I wouldn't trust anyone.
Yeah, right.
Because yeah, even with pictures with that guy and all that,
it was super believable and then just fucking nothing.
Man, yeah, I don't know.
So Mormons though, so can get it.
I guess also, I never at that age especially,
maybe it wasn't, man, I don't know how long
so can's been around, but they definitely weren't doing it.
They were also very like prude.
They weren't the kids like doing drugs.
What was it doing at your Mormon friends?
Yeah, like they, you know, they're like the,
well, they soak because they're prude.
Right, but those, but think of,
all right, within the Mormon community,
the spectrum of Mormon kid,
just like how in the spectrum of average kid,
you have your kids that are like going to chess club
after school and then you have your kids are doing drugs
and having sex when they're in eighth grade.
Yeah, it's way cooler.
Yeah, there's probably just the Mormons who are soaking
and the ones that are within the Mormon spectrum,
the kids who are like trying to have sex, you know?
And then there's the kids who are not even fucking close
to think about it.
You gotta think on a micro level with these things.
Gotta really get your slices of communities.
But yeah, I don't know.
So I didn't even know that was happening.
Until later in life, I'm like,
Mormons are doing this shit.
Wow.
They're manually helping their friends.
It'd be hilarious to just like,
have a panel of people that you interview
and ask them if they think they have a friend
that would help them soak,
and then they have to reach out to their friend
and ask them if they would help them soak.
And how much do that?
We could call someone up.
But it's a great experiment into how much people
either perceive correctly or incorrectly
about the relationship they have with somebody.
Cause that is the tipy top of ass.
All the stuff like burying a body.
Also the odds of getting a genuine response.
Like, if I called my bros up,
they'd be like, hell yeah, do it and help you soak.
But if I was like dude, seriously,
you gotta help me soak.
That's very true.
Well, maybe we could do like a set up situation.
We have to actually soak to know the real end.
Or that I was gonna say like set up a camera
and you go ask them seriously
and then be like, it's a joke.
That's why I was saying,
here's like, we gotta actually do it different.
I was saying like, actually soak
and then be like, it's a joke.
After you've done it,
both can be done.
Hey man, that's why we got two of us here.
The melding of minds.
All right, we've talked enough about soaking.
Let's move on.
Unless you have something else on soaking
that you wanna touch on.
I actually do not like it.
All right, tight.
Okay.
We've talked about having kids before.
Ah, yes.
When you're raising a kid,
how much advice do you give to your kid?
You could be the parent that,
which we've all known parents,
I imagine on both ends of the spectrum
of helicopter parents,
where they're like,
they have to control everything in their child's life
and they tell them what to do.
And then the other end,
which is like,
we go to this kid's house
and we could do heroin in their basement
and they're like,
hey you guys have both.
So, and both horrible.
Both horrible.
Both horrible.
For sure.
So in academics,
in how much do you let your kid try
and how much do you let your kid fail
and how,
when you love your child,
how do you just swallow the pain you see
when they're really struggling
and not like,
jump the gun and be like,
oh, I'll help you out.
You know,
because a lot of the times when you do that,
to a certain degree,
if they're not asking for help,
you gotta let them struggle a little bit.
Yeah.
To like, kind of learn of, you know,
you gotta fail a little bit to get better.
And, you know,
which everyone knows.
That's top.
You ever hear of bean dad?
No, it was bean dad.
You know what I mean?
Bean dad,
well, he's a guy who went viral on Twitter
back when I was still Twitter.
Okay.
Cause he was like,
I think he was live tweeting the situation,
but he was talking about with his daughter.
His daughter asked him,
his daughter was hungry.
So she asked him for a can of beans.
Oh, I remember this.
Yeah.
Already, red flag.
If your daughter's like,
dad, I'm hungry, give me a can of beans.
That's a little strange.
And then he,
he took out a can of beans
and was like, figure out how to open it.
And gave her a can opener too, I think.
And like, watched her struggle for hours,
trying to open this can of beans
and was like, she's learning.
And he thought he was being a good dad,
like, teaching you how to problem solve.
See, Twitter just roasted him for it.
For his, he's literally just,
childhood abuse on some level.
Yeah, yeah.
Feed your kid.
Yeah, that's a,
I would imagine most people would have the gut check
to be like,
what are you doing?
What are you doing to this child?
So that's fucking terrible.
I think my mom,
who works,
It's like a silly little microcosm of this question.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a good fucking example.
My mom who works in this field with child development
and psychology and stuff says,
unless they ask for help,
you should usually just let them go.
That's a good rule.
If they ask for help, then you help.
And it usually works very, very well.
And then, you know,
if they ask for help all the time,
what if they're doing like secret stuff in the room,
like trying to cook meth?
Be like, yes.
And you don't help them unless they ask for help.
That's just left in cook meth.
But no, I mean,
I guess this is mostly an early child development.
And I don't know, maybe adolescent stuff,
but if they're going to tricycle me,
don't be like, no, you gotta do this.
Just be like,
obviously also if it's dangerous,
let them know the dangers.
Like if they're gonna be cutting with a knife,
do certain things that prevent you from cutting yourself
and all that shit.
But when I was teaching,
I tried to implement as much as that.
I couldn't, it works out more times than not.
The kids, they're very smart, man.
We like,
are a bit...
They're so much smarter than like we remember.
Yeah, you see a little kid and you assume,
no, man, I don't know shit,
but their ability to figure shit out is insane.
And just to read people, dude, even babies.
Like I can see their face react to me.
They have so much like,
so much input on human behavior when you're a gun
that you just kind of like,
they know what's going on with people.
And then as we get older,
we tend to have less social interaction for the most part.
Probably better than awesome.
For sure, dude.
They sense things on the level.
But yeah, I mean, most people can figure shit out.
It's just back to the point of,
if you're a dad,
are there any areas you can think of where you need to tell them
like what's gonna happen?
If they do.
If they're gonna do it,
they're gonna do whatever thing.
You gotta be like, listen,
you're not gonna see this coming.
It's kind of like,
it's like dare, like don't do drugs.
Oh God.
They show you all that stuff.
Yeah.
Just thought the kids do the drugs, dude.
They should have,
I mean, it's tough to generalize this question
because there's so many different scenarios.
It would be hilarious if there's a police officer
that came into your room and just had a triumph.
Just a handful of drugs.
Today we're doing as.
Just gonna learn for yourself.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the way to learn.
Yeah, so I don't know.
That was a big general question, but I just thought it's.
It's a good one though.
I just, it's good to be thinking like that.
Yeah, but who knows it all right?
As two guys who don't have any kids.
Yeah, right.
It's great to be thinking about these things
without any children for decades
for the kids we'll never have.
Oh God.
Yeah, the horrors of that.
Okay, talk about soaking.
All right, here's a good question
or maybe it's not a good question.
Tattoos, how deep does the ink go?
How many layers of skin can I peel off somebody
with a tattoo before it's no longer there?
I've always wondered that.
You just like scrape your leg up
after getting a tattoo or something.
Yeah, if it's just gone.
Yeah, what if yeah, if you get a cut,
you're like, oh fuck, that's $300.
Yeah, fuck dude.
Except I always see those videos
of people getting burned off.
So it's gotta be.
Can't be that easy.
How you remove tattoos is it?
Oh, yeah.
Cause I guess it's like a laser thing.
This laser thing just like creates all those bubbles
just burns off the ink,
which I heard is so painful.
Yeah, and people get them on their face and shit.
They have like giant ones like a chest piece
or on their back and oh man, talk about,
you don't have any tattoos, right?
No, I feel like we've talked about this before.
I don't know.
No, no, no.
Do you wanna get a tattoo?
No.
There is some moments in my life.
I was like, maybe, but I also never had anything where,
I was like, man.
Dude, there's nothing I feel like I would get
and not two years later be like this fucking stupid.
Right.
Like I don't, yeah, I don't feel like.
I asked my brother this question once
and his answer was like, you'd probably have to die.
And I was like, that's a good answer.
That's a good one.
Like, yeah.
Wish family member.
No shame, I don't wanna get some.
My sister has tatted the fuck up.
Her boyfriend's like literally a sleaze and chest piece.
Oh yeah, that's the, yeah.
Good.
Cause I think tattoos are awesome.
They look sick as fuck.
Like, but on me.
I think it's just not me.
Same.
I feel too much like a goofball.
Yeah.
Unless it was to just have a tattoo.
Yeah, it's specifically bad ass tattoos.
Daob like tribal stuff.
Feel like like one of my two.
It looks like such a fucking loser.
But, you know, but you know other people.
Other people are great.
Other people are great.
I feel the same way about chains on dudes.
It's like chains.
And people wear like chains around their necks.
Oh, you know, it's like you can rock it.
I would never do it.
Okay, yeah, exactly.
Cause there's some dudes I see with them like,
that looks so fucking good.
I'm like, I can never pull this off.
It's mainly me wishing I could be that cool.
Whenever it's, when I'd see even someone like
deep down inside.
Yeah, that you can't do it.
Yeah.
Sad lives we live.
Whenever you see like, I remember in high school,
if there was ever like some, you know, a dude that was maybe
who played football or something they had.
So they're like, they're all really ripped.
And they would have like a, a gold chain
with a little Jesus piece there.
Like it just look in a tank top.
Yeah, it looks so sick.
It does look sick.
Oh, man.
And then there's us.
We probably would look fine.
We could do it.
I feel like we're two chains.
We just gotta get ripped.
Dude, I feel like if I, if I showed up with a chain,
just immediate shit from every one of my friends.
Like dude, what the fuck are you doing?
And I'd be like, I know.
I know you're right.
And I would take it off.
If you had one with a Jesus piece, do you think they,
well, I guess that evenly more towards like,
I was even religious now.
I guess they'd be more like what the fuck is going on.
Yeah, no.
I did rock hemp necklaces for a while.
What, what is that?
Like it looks like knotted rope.
If he's wearing the whole the fucking time.
And there was a period when I was a king.
Can you see rock in that?
Yeah.
There was some pictures they looked back and like,
you got him?
You got him in your room?
No.
Oh my god.
He's like when I was like, I yondon.
There was a choker when I used to wear that was fucking.
I think you still have him.
Dude, you think I wouldn't tell you if I had this?
Come on now.
I'm gonna save somewhere to lock the way.
I fucking, it would be better to have them.
That makes for great content.
To pull one of those out would be amazing.
Dude, I wish I had him.
I do not.
But at this, they're also just super non practical.
Cause they have like these, most of them have heavy like,
mark not marble, but glass things on them.
They weigh a fuck ton.
So you're like, you have this big thing on your chest
when you move it like slapping the fucking chin.
It's not a great agile with one of those things.
Oh, you can't.
That was trying to be agile all the time.
Still am.
As I sit on this couch, then be super agile.
All right.
Did see something pretty awesome.
Okay.
Which was, you know what the punters are symbol is?
You ever see that like the skull?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I saw, I don't know if it was a joker nut,
but it was on the back of a truck.
So I felt like it was probably legitimate.
It was a Punisher logo and the inside was colored in
with an American flag.
So like star stripes, blue, red, white.
And then it had a Trump like hair.
And I was like, whoa, the trivact of,
of I don't even know of like white, whoa, just that sound.
I can hear it when I look at that fucking symbol.
It was, that's insane.
I mean, where did you see that like Indiana?
No, it's driving the highway between Illinois and Wisconsin.
Someone out on their truck.
I mean, Wisconsin and Southern parts of Illinois.
Who fucking knows?
It's hilarious that the levels there are.
Like this, like, did the super condensed form
of all that energy.
If you ever want to feel it's so much,
because you know, you'll catch people
using the Punisher symbol just like non-ironically.
And it's, you know, you're like, oh, Jesus, fucking Christ.
That's a marvel thing, right?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, but you know, he's the guy who like,
they kill his family and it's kind of like a badass.
He like kills people.
Super badass.
But it's like, it's a superhero.
And then there's people who would like,
be like, they wear that on their shirt as like a,
I'm a badass.
I was gonna say, what are you trying to project
when you have that?
I'm a badass.
It's the same guys back in the day
when UFC started to get big.
They would wear tap out shirts that he ever fight.
It's that same exact energy.
It's those people.
But then to mix it with also the American flag
and then the drum string, I was like, whoa, it's like you win.
Yeah, no seriously.
Like, okay, I can't imagine a level up from that.
That is, you've truly the essence of whatever that is.
You've captured all of it in one logo.
We on my mind.
Did you say that was a tattoo?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm back in someone's truck.
Yeah, yeah, that would be, I mean, probably is,
could be a tattoo.
Not getting Trump's face as a tattoo.
Oh, man, that probably is out there.
For sure.
Anyone's, I mean, man, when you're tattooing a politician
on your body.
A tattoo's, oh my God.
If you didn't know who buy one,
you'd be like, you just have a geriatric person tattooed
on your body.
Well, I don't know, I feel like there's no like die hard
bite in people.
Oh, yeah, there is.
You think so?
Yeah, dude.
It's the same on both.
There's the far right to the far left.
The far left's low lightened to death.
The far right's love Trump to death.
It's the same fucking shit.
Anyone who doesn't think so, they're lying to themselves.
Well, I know there's obviously the extremes,
but I feel like the die hard trumpers are way more die hard
than like, I feel like a lot of liberals don't even like
buy them.
Even though they hate Trump as much as those die hards
love Trump.
Yeah, they're not like die hard buy it.
I wish I knew the numbers, but I feel like it gets,
we get lied to through the media of who's the
more extreme.
And don't get me wrong, the extreme takes different shapes.
So if the extreme on the left, it'll be about like,
you're using the wrong pronoun.
Don't don't like, it'll be something that's not as crazy as
guns and screaming in a field.
So it looks not as crazy, but it's the same mental process
that they're all doing on this like, if you don't call me,
she, they, her, bug, I'm gonna fucking kill your family.
And they're thinking that, but, but they're not out in a
field doing the physicality of they don't have torches.
Exactly.
Okay.
So it's, yeah, it's, it's, they'll do the same thing to you,
but the facade is just a little different.
You know, I feel like the die hard lefties are a little more
like they get in your head a little more for not as outright
as like the, like the die hard right people just scream out
their beliefs have a tattooed shirts with just ridiculous
sayings on it.
It's, it's weird to see because it's like the,
you like can see it at, well, not you.
I look at it, I guess, as like a full human spectrum of,
the capability of the human mind of like, you can have the
brutal side, it will be the animal brain of us, the lizard brain
that belongs all of us.
And then we have the, the front end that's kind of like using,
still doing terrible things, but using intellect to kind of like,
you know, manipulate or sophisticate.
Yeah, more like a mastermind thing, not to say that there's a
lot more smarter people on one side, but the left are smarter.
But they do, they'll like, they'll plant their views in like,
movements that are like, all for, for black lives or for gay
rights, even though they're doing her rendition.
A more misdirection for sure.
And then the rights more direct to your point of like,
fuck you, just brutish.
Yes, which is also not, you know, that might be a
blankist. I feel like there's probably misdirection on the right.
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.
Like a lot, whatever it might be a generalization, but it seems
like both sides on the extreme are truly believe what they've
been given in terms of information.
And it's mostly lies.
And so they, they look crazy to us because we know that that
stuff's not true, but they do think that's true.
Yeah.
So when you're lied to on these mass scales of thinking like
Obama's a lizard person and there's lizard people running the
government and people are eating children.
And you believe it, you're going to do crazy shit.
Hence like, like, pizza gate when they went and like literally thought
that there was a child pedophile rain under a pizza hut and a guy went
there with an assault rifle.
Like that's the, it gets that extreme.
It's crazy.
People are dude manipulated, manipulative and people can be manipulated.
And then we just got to, you got to understand the other view, right?
Have a dialogue.
That's what everyone says.
That's another thing.
I feel like every single person says that like we just need to understand
each other and no one does it.
No.
And you know what?
Oh man, when I went home last my brother brought this up to me, which is
crazy because I never thought he'd hear about this person.
My brother's maybe I'll cut this, but he's leaning more and more into
theology.
He's very, very smart.
And like we'll talk about the, it's insane.
And every time I go home, blows my body brought out that the closest person,
or he said, we're talking about Jesus in general.
And how like the most people who think about Jesus today are like talking
about the opposite of how Jesus would treat people.
And you know, he's like this guy who essentially was carrying to everybody
was kindness to the most like terrible people in ways, you know, like,
which most people are not doing that when they're talking about Christian
or Jesus.
Right.
And so I forgot his name.
I think his name is Darrell, but he's this guy who is a big black guy.
And he's, you know, overweight black guy jazz musician and has made it his
life's like venture to convert KKK members and has converted like over 200.
It's insane to leave.
No, to just be to not being the KK not be has literally talked about opening a
dialogue has converted like die hard KKK members.
It's insane.
Dude, Joe Rogham had him on for four hours, like a year ago, one of the most interesting
talks.
And his whole thing was like you, what I was saying before about people believing
things to be true, you just have to sit there with them and like be there.
I'd be like, I know that you, this is real for you.
Meet them where they are exactly.
And then you work, exactly.
Then you walk them back, but it's all about being like, this is real to them.
If you, if you like push back on it, they, they will immediately be like, no,
get the fuck out.
It like, this is my reality.
It's like the whole strong opinions thing you attack it.
People get defensive, but you know, ways you're said than done.
So pro, yeah, I have no idea.
I'd be so crazy to see.
There's got to be some interviews out there with like him in a, a past guy he converted.
I just want to see the process of that of like watch his face change.
Yeah, he has a very mom.
Turns black.
He's like, holy shit.
It's got strong as fuck.
Just makes white people do blackface.
But yeah, I like if that's the method for converting KKK.
He just has a bucket of paint and he's just like, you would never believe you go.
Look at how far you've come in really.
They should all watch Soulman.
They want to open up their heart.
That's true.
You can't not when watching that movie.
Yeah.
I mean, it's the only way.
But anyway, that, that guy is my, when I was talking about, he was like, that's kind of the modern day Jesus.
Like, that's what a Jesus would be like of like, yeah,
literally with prostitutes and lepers and all the, all the deplorables.
Yeah.
And he met all of them.
Right.
I forgot what the exact thing my brother said though, but he was talking about.
It's easy to love your friends.
Love your enemies.
Love your, that's the whole thing.
Yeah.
You have, you have to.
And that's the only way that that stuff can happen.
Like that guy to put the KKK members.
You have to love your enemies and you have to be able to know that you can always pull them out of
wherever deep dark hole they've gone.
And just knowing that if we can do that, but man, is it fucking hard?
Because when people piss me off, oh man, talk about like changing your world for you.
If you adopt the mantra, love your enemies.
Oh, dude, change is different person.
Yeah.
It's also the phrase like quickest way to crush an enemy.
Make them your friend.
Yeah, it's pretty tight.
It's a good one.
I mean, there's, there's no, there's no better feeling.
I had one small instance of this.
This is nowhere near the scale of can bring you a KKK member.
Okay.
This is, I don't remember if you were there that night, but it was.
I'll wait to hear this.
Okay, this was, this was before people had moved to Colorado for the most part.
And we are at, we are at a, it's a bar on Brady.
There's two floors.
I forget what it's called.
Were there cats?
Yes.
I think so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go in.
What do you want?
Have a night, come downstairs, bars packed as fuck, right?
I see this like six foot forward.
There's, there's a clear path to the bar, but there's the six foot four or five massive dude,
leaning on the bar, not doing anything.
That could tell you as a friend with them.
It's like this shorter bald guy.
And I get up next to him and I'm like, Hey, man, can I just like squeeze and
hit him to be here?
He's like, no.
No, my initial guts was like, oh, fuck this guy.
I was like, dude, yeah, buddy, six four.
I mean, at the same time, I was just like, initials just,
fuck you dude.
Yeah, this is going to, you want to make this a new a thing?
I'll make this a new a fucking thing.
So he said, now I'm like, come on, dude, just, he's like go around, which is like pointing
to a round to the side where like people are walking.
There's still people over there.
Yeah.
It's like, dude, come on.
And then his friend next to me is like, oh, he doesn't even notice that we're having this
conversation.
Me, the tall guy.
And he just lets me in next to he's like, oh, yeah, dude, come on.
And so now I am shoulder to shoulder with this guy who had just been like, you're not
fucking coming up here.
Yeah.
And
pardon me, wanted to open up the can of worms that was going to be like, now I'm fucking
here, bitch.
What are you going to do?
Now I'm getting my fucking beer.
And instead, I was like, what do you want to drink, dude?
And I bought him a beer and we stood, it was so crazy to see someone go from.
I want nothing to do.
Why did he hate you in the beginning?
Why did he hate me?
Yeah, why was he being a jackass?
He just didn't want to move.
And I was like, he thought I was probably just going to dislodge him from his spot.
He's like literally leaning on the bar.
I was like, I just want to buy a beer and get out.
That's that.
So bond my beer bought the friend who would let me in a beer, a little just our
talking and we're both familiar.
And all the whole thing flipped.
I could see him go to feeling bad about being a dick.
And it was like, that's the best way to disarm someone.
Dude, it just being nice literally.
And I had that moment of like, oh, why am I being an asshole?
It was crazy.
And it was so cool to experience it.
Having experienced something like that sense, but it's very rare in life where
you have a conflict with someone and you choose to do like in my experience.
I thought most times I'm like, fuck that guy.
I'm not going to fucking deal with this bullshit.
This guy fucking sucks.
An ounce of nice and it changed everything.
It was awesome.
That's beautiful.
I'm Jesus.
He might have been in the KKK too.
And he also was like, I'm done being racist after I buy him a bud light.
He's like, oh, fuck, is this the transpier?
God damn it.
So yeah, that we, if anything, we can take from this is the whole love your
enemies thing.
I think we, if we could, this is good.
I want to make that one of my daily things to think about, but meditating.
Put it on your mirror.
Oh downstairs in the bathroom.
Yeah.
Love your enemies.
Every time you're shit, love your enemies.
The mirror on the, I guess I clip on the mirror that faced me when I shit.
So instead of putting stuff in the Google doc, I mirror face me while you shit.
Yeah, there's like one that's like, it has a like toothbrush and stuff.
And there's like front mirror.
And there's so when I'm shitting, I can literally see myself in the back of an angle.
Yeah, I guess you only get head though.
You only get this, you know, you don't get to see everything.
So yeah, we're going to do.
All right.
Pushing forward into
Dude, remember you told me the story about the guy in fucking bourbon street about the shoe.
I saw your note on this.
What happened?
Literally watching a podcast.
Some brought these same exact story.
So that guy is good for him.
So active.
That literally word for word what you told me about that guy in bourbon street,
being like, where do you get those shoes or whatever?
Like they're on you or whatever the fuck he says.
Whatever he's like, oh, if I can tell you where you got your shoes.
Yeah.
You have to let me shine them.
What was he say?
And I was like, okay, where did I get him?
He's like, you got him on your feet.
That's that he kneels down, starts shining your shoes.
Yes.
And the same thing happened where I got to find the fucking clip because he's like,
I gave him five and he's like, oh, five fucking dollars.
Yeah, no joke.
I was like, whoa.
What the guy said to me?
He's like, come on.
And I gave him a 20.
I was literally watching like, no.
Fucking way.
How is that possible?
He's still out here.
Still out there doing the same thing.
It's insane that it hasn't changed.
Dude, it's insane.
That's probably his full time job.
It's probably making bank everyone 20 bucks.
It's got to be a 20 because no one has like a one.
Yeah, but the fact that he berates everyone after someone gets in five.
It goes up a bill every time and you're drunk enough to be like, yeah, just make it.
And you don't want to deal with the hassle.
You don't want to fucking fight this guy.
And be like, no, I already get just, yeah, that's small one I had to bring up because
I was like, this is.
That's insane.
Truly insane.
I'll try to find who it was because it was.
I mean, he was probably like 50s, 40s, 50s.
Yeah.
And this was like a podcast that happened in two, three weeks ago.
Yeah.
So he's, yeah, unless it's his son.
The descendant of the shoe shining from my dad.
Every goddamn skill.
Look, that works.
God fuck.
That's great.
All right.
One, one actual one.
All right.
Uh, man, these are all, maybe we should just do the reoccurring.
Yeah, let's just do that.
Just let it up.
Reoccurring stuff.
Start off.
Any moments that you teared up or moments of vulnerability where you got emotional about
anything.
I didn't tear up, but it was, it was good.
I saw a lot of old friends the past couple of weeks.
Oh, yeah.
That's just made me very happy.
Yeah.
Like life is good.
Yeah.
Happy that I have these people.
I have a lot of good people in your life kind of thing.
And, uh, had it like a few moments of just reflecting be like, this is awesome.
Yeah.
Did sick.
Man, it's never a bad time.
If I sat in that a little longer, maybe could have gotten a tear.
Yeah.
But, uh, you know, bottle that shit up.
That's right.
You push that shit down.
You push it.
That's good, man.
It's always, uh, having gratitude in real time is nice.
It's pretty rare too.
Yeah.
It's also like, it's a different level of gratitude.
I feel like sometimes because when you have gratitude after the fact, you know what happened,
but it's only a memory when you're in it.
If you can somehow tap into that moment of like, dude, this is...
You can just stop and look around a room and be like, yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty awesome, man.
That's sick.
Um, let's see.
We'll have a gratitude.
Uh, really silly one.
And it's probably not a good thing.
Okay.
I was thinking about gratitude, not specifically emotional stuff, but I guess this will count.
Moved out a while ago.
Oh, fuck.
I have to cut that name.
Yeah.
Friend moved out a while ago, whatever.
We used to play that golf game and drink a bunch.
And since he moved out, it's really...
Unless he comes over by yourself.
Yeah.
That'd be so fucked up.
Stringing like 12 beers by myself.
Oh, it looks like I've got four jokes on this hole.
I'm just slugging beers.
Uh, he moved out, took the switch with, will play when he would come over.
And, uh, so like, we didn't play that often.
And we just fucking got PGA 2K23 online.
So this past weekend, just fucking got obliterated, but we were both at our homes playing online with each other.
Oh, it was great.
It was so awesome, dude.
It was like, fuck, we can still keep doing this.
Yeah.
Even though we live in separate places.
So that was nice.
But I don't know if it's good, because he's open this door to, we can just play that whenever, and I can just drink whenever.
Oh, he could always do that.
Yeah, but that game does something to me, man.
What was it, 2K?
It's, yeah, it's PGA 2K23.
So it's, dude.
I could play that game, non-s, especially when drinking, when there's a risk, there's like something on the line.
Like if you, if you don't win this hole, you drink half a beer.
Yeah.
It makes it so awesome.
It's my level of gambling, where it's like, I'm never going to gamble to extreme degrees with money.
That's the closest I'll get.
Yeah.
And it's so addictive, dude.
Fuck.
So anyway, not emotional, but productive.
That's an interesting point about like drinking games, though.
Yeah.
I never felt like, like the punishment is always you drink.
Yeah.
But like, you know, coming up through college, I was like, I just wanted to drink a pond, so I didn't care.
For sure.
But there is, can you, but I feel I could see like now getting to the point where like it actually is kind of a punishment.
For sure.
But even in those college days, you still want to win, though, right?
You, yes.
You want to win the game.
But like the punishment is like, oh fuck yeah, I could have another beer.
But yeah, and I think of like, circle of death or something.
Oh, yeah.
Just drinking out of the side anyway.
Yeah, that one's like, and there's no winner.
Other than if you get like death, if you played death cup rolls or some weird shit, but I'm thinking like true.
The only true stakes, like boom cup when there's the death cup in the side.
Yeah, that I truly don't.
There's a thing I ever did.
Yeah, there's a version of circle of death that I think it's the king turns into king's cup.
And every time someone gets that, you just fill up the middle cup with random drinks and hard liquor.
So then, God.
And then the last one has to drink that.
So whenever there's that, whenever there's risk, it makes me.
And also, circle of death, you don't have any, there's no skill that's going to make you do better.
It's a random point of cards.
But you put me in a place where we're playing against each other in beer pong or boom.
I want to win.
Yeah, as opposed to, but I like the drinking as a, as a consequence.
So I think with that PGA, if you do a death cup for losing the whole thing.
Oh, man, that'd be realized.
I'd be practicing my downtime.
I'd be playing that game alone a lot to make sure I don't lose.
But yeah, there's, with those games too, especially in like one where you need precision skills.
The drunker you get, you just start losing so much more.
And then you just, you get so fucked up now.
So anyway, let's move on to the next reoccurring theme.
I think we got one big story a month to follow.
Oh, we need to talk about aliens, dude.
It was like the fuck, but we're up to it next time.
We'll do it next time.
We'll do it next time.
We got to, we're working on cutting these and we got to stick to it.
All right, pet peeves.
Any in this past?
You had to have one.
We always got one.
Being out there, being around people all the time.
Something must have happened.
Close cores with people you don't see a lot.
It's true.
This isn't from the past couple of weeks, but I'll go this one down a little bit ago.
Yeah.
Fucking bikers.
Like room for a cycle.
Okay.
So tired of them.
They're not great.
They're the worst.
There's a reason why South Park has made an entire episode of it.
It's not a new take, but I think it should be sad, especially living in Milwaukee.
Yeah.
They exist to just ruin moments.
Yeah.
They just come through so fucking loud.
Whatever conversation or whatever you're doing.
Yeah.
Just interrupts your day.
Just being loud to be loud.
They're the worst.
I don't, I will never understand it.
Yeah.
I'm so, it's probably because I'm so opposite of that in the sense of like, I don't want people to look at me.
Yeah.
Like I'm just like, I don't want, I want so not that that it's, I can't understand why you'd want to be on this super crazy loud thing.
And be like, what is this?
It's a grown-ass man who are the braving attention.
Yeah.
I do wonder.
The guys who are in legitimate biker games, like the Hells Angels or what is it?
Is it like the one percenters or something like that?
Famous biker games to do math all the time.
Have giant organizations of organized crime.
Do they do the loud, or is it just a bunch of like, you know, your average guy?
Like a casual gang, is he a man?
Yeah.
Are they, in my head, I romanticize as they don't do that.
I mean, the bikes are just loud.
If you have those guys, you'll be to stop and I, like, they don't hurt like just fucking go and add it.
Like what would they do, dude?
They're all the same.
Fuck yeah.
That's probably true.
Oh man.
That goes for people blasting music so loud in their cars.
Oh my god.
Like, vibrating the whole intersection.
Dude, that might be worse.
Whenever we play tennis by, oh my god.
There's people that just do loops.
They say I'm not even fucking kidding.
There will be people who, either a biker, one of those weird fucking like,
tricycle big, weird bike things that people drive around in.
Not tricycle.
It's like, it's got a two seat and one wheel and two wheels.
It looks, it's called like a Raptor or T-Rex or something.
They'll go in loops.
They're just out driving in a circle blasting loud music.
Near a place where people are playing sports.
It's fucking, it's like, how are you an adult and think driving is so fun?
Like, why do people take, why do people steal cars and take joy rides?
Oh, I mean, that's a different category.
That's like, the adrenaline there has to be insane.
But if you're just a, coming from someone who's done some bad shit.
If you were joy riding a stolen car, that's like, holy fuck.
Oh, my God, that'd be so nuts.
Is it any car?
Does it have to be a nice car?
I mean, the nicer definitely increases the, the, I mean, you'd be like, oh,
if you stole a many of that and joy rode it around.
I mean, that'd be hilarious.
You can just thrill out of that.
Yeah.
I mean, you're stealing a car.
You're committing grand theft auto.
So it's more just the fact that you stole a car.
For sure.
That's what you get.
Yeah.
As opposed, the average person driving a car with loud music outside,
yeah, I don't understand.
Yeah.
Well, but like, you know, these people joy ride and just leave the car.
Like, they don't actually take it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which, yeah.
I don't know.
I mean, that's also that's a person whose young has no idea the consequences.
Right.
That you're like, I was going to, I'll separate that from the guy just blasting music
going around the block.
Why?
I don't think we'll ever know.
Unless we sit down and interview someone who does that, I have no idea why you want to be.
I'm not talking, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a version of that.
But how many women are you get out of that?
Yeah.
Who's coming up and you're like, nice loud music.
I saw one super nice car in the license plate on the back side.
You wish.
Oh, and it's all like, God, I want to throw up.
Yeah.
It's so bad.
How old do you think that person is?
I don't know.
I mean, the car was awesome.
That's fine.
I kind of wished.
It makes me, it makes me not like, like, I would look at that car and be like,
that's a cool car and then see the lights.
I'm like, oh, like, you wrote, he ruined the good car.
Yeah.
Like, if without that, I'd be like, yes, dude.
And you need this car to shell you from the little puddle of shit you are.
Oh, man.
It's so gross.
I kind of feel that way about just having like a super nice sports car in general.
Like, why do you need that?
Well, even without the license plate, I get that that's probably fun to drive.
Like, if you take it to the track, right.
And if you're just driving a downtown, you're just flaunting for sure.
If I see a Lamborghini in the city, I'm like, what are we doing here?
Yeah.
That's insane.
I can see having a sports car.
That's not, once again, if you have the money, go for it, whatever.
But it'd be cool to fucking have a nice car.
It would be good.
But also, the practicality of, I don't know what I do with it.
Yeah.
So who knows?
Anyway, wait, what was the pet peeve?
Bikers.
Bikers.
Okay.
Loud vehicles.
I'm on your side.
I'm already a share to fuck up your day.
Yeah.
I'm not fuck about it.
It's not a good time, which anyway, be funny if like we tried to ride a bike.
I'm like, oh my god.
I need to be loud now.
It might be amazing.
You never know.
It could be.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, let's see.
You got one?
Yeah, I'm trying to think pet peeve over the past month-ish.
Oh, fuck.
Man, I don't, I don't fucking know.
Usually I have one locked and loaded.
I don't know if any of these bother me a lot.
Well, I know.
Watch my parents dog for a week.
Okay.
Lovely dog.
But taking care of a dog for just a week, I realized how much I can just probably not have a dog.
Dude, I'm so used to having all of my time in myself.
And like, nothing wrong with a dog.
But I would take it for walks around the block and stuff like that.
And it has to literally smell and peon every single tree.
Oh, that's dogs.
And in a single block in the suburbs, there's like four trees per house.
Yeah.
And he's out of pee.
He's been out of pee since the sixth tree.
Oh, they've been out of shower.
And he just keeps doing the pee thing.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, it's a small pup.
And it just, there's obviously while I'm walking like this, you know, this has to happen.
But then when I have to, I have to do that same thing three times a day for a week of also the awkwardness of like being in the house.
And the suburbs and your dog just decides to take a shot and someone's long.
And the neighbor happens to be in their garage or outside.
And you're like, you're like, you're having multiple times.
I'm just standing and my dog's shitting on their lawn.
And I'm like, hey, it's just, we just now, what are you going to do?
It's just, it's just a thing.
Yeah.
But it's so weird.
Like, fuck, I don't know.
They're so cute.
And they're so cuddly and they're so, they're nice when you don't have to take care of them.
Yeah.
And then when you do, it's like, fuck.
It's like taking on any responsibility.
You're just going to suck away your friends.
Talk about us having kids.
I can't even fucking walk a dog around the block.
Jesus Christ, man.
Yeah.
Go with a plant.
Go on.
Yeah.
Suck you, miss.
Or not, suck you, miss.
Oh my god, a succulent.
That's healthy.
Yeah.
I mean, it's probably the lowest maintenance plant.
It is.
And then you can go without water for like half of a year.
And then it'll start to drip.
I'm like, oh, I got to water it.
All right.
Is that all the reacreen segments?
Oh, we can cover these two.
I don't know if I have any anxiety-ridden experiences in the past three weeks.
Actually, I have one, but you probably share it.
The River Tube.
That's the one I used to, the first one.
Yeah.
Rocks hitting in the ass.
Oh, God.
I'm flipping tube.
That potentially slamming your face on a rock.
Oh, man.
It's a little intense.
It was probably a good indicator when we're looking at an area, and there's people wearing helmets
and life-s.
And we're like literally have nothing but a tube and a beer.
Well, I guess on that one we went down where it wasn't super intense, we didn't have one.
But when I ate shit and lost my shoes, was a very scary moment for about five seconds,
where I was underwater, and you don't know which way is up.
And you're just inside a rapid fucking terrifying.
And you get stuck in one of those.
It's like, okay.
Can I get out?
Yes, you just hope.
And then you pop out the other end, and there's like 30 people washing you just like,
oh, my God.
This is fucking flop around me.
Where's my shoes?
Yeah.
It's fucking terrible.
So yeah, that was definitely anxiety-ridden.
But nothing out of that.
How about things you wish you knew before going into it?
I could say the tubing dude was the same.
Probably the same thing.
Oh, yeah.
Wish I knew my tube was half deflated when I started tubing.
That would have helped.
That would have helped a lot.
Yeah.
I wish I would have listened to people when they said, you're going to lose your sandals.
Because I didn't, and I continued to win my sandals.
And then they lost them.
Never going to get those back.
All right, I don't have anything else.
Ready to cut it?
Wrap it up.
All right.
This is Salad Fucking Out.
Well, thanks for tuning in.
We'll see you next week.
Love your enemies.
Bye.